Ideas & Announcements

We Need To Talk...

"Sigh" Where do I begin? I guess...August of 2023, the start of Grade 11. Considered by many as one of the toughest grades in all of your school life (Except for University and college). For a while, it's been...Busy. AP and IB classes were something new, so it was taking time for me to adjust to them, tests popping left and right, and talks with the school counselor about my future for College and University and beyond.

But...Outside of education...I haven't been feeling myself. Not in a long time. Those who I called friends for years...I...I now try to avoid or try to say hi to but back up because I'm afraid. Even for some in my personal life who know about my "Alternate Identity" here on Wattpad, I haven't really had a proper conversation with them in a while. I don't blame them, it's probably on me...I've been...Busy, and I feel like I would just be wasting their time if I talked to them.

Gods, now I hope they don't see this. I don't want them to think I'm a burden. Those who were or are probably in Grade 11 probably think this is normal, and they may be right. But for me...For me, it's something else. I've also been...Isolating myself from everyone, including my family. 

As I mentioned before, I've been taking AP and IB classes, and the workload has been a lot to say. I isolate myself in the room for hours every day once I come home from school. Trying to manage homework while also trying to finish or write new chapters for stories here on Wattpad. And I only have time to see my family for like...An hour during dinner before I have to head straight back up in my room and go do more schoolwork.

Though my creative mind is there...My motivation to write is not. I struggle to write something and put things into words. What once sometimes takes me a day or a week to finish a chapter...Now, i takes a month or more.

Even with the Skylanders sequel, The Story Continues, a story that I've been making since I finished half of Season 2, is barely even halfway done because my motivation to write hasn't been great.  I also have these ideas for new stories that I really, really, really want to make, like male reader stories based on Gotham Knights, Marvel's Spider-Man, Wakfu, Last Of Us, and so much more—even a Oneshot based on the Cloverfield movie. But I don't have the motivation to write it.

I think this lack of motivation and lack of contact with people is starting to affect me, both physically and mentally. I'm feeling more drained, more quiet, scared, etc. I feel the pressure from my peers, teachers, and even my family affecting me. I fear that every day, I'm letting them down. I try to stay optimistic but...With each passing day grows harder and harder to smile. I can even see my mental health is starting to decline because of this, as it's starting to affect my grades in school...And not in a good way.

What I'm trying to say is...I'm tired.

I am tired physically and mentally. I am tired of letting people down. I'm tired of losing people I know and care about. I'm tired of losing motivation to write and whenever it does come back it comes out as shitty writing. 

But, I want to make things right. On a lot of things. I want to fix things, especially in my personal life. My grades, my mood, my relations with my friends and family. But I have to do something to fix those issues.

I'm taking a hiatus from writing to recover and find myself. Updates and progress for all books will be silent until the unforeseeable future. I will still be on the app, so if any of you want to talk to me, I'll still answer...Just, don't expect any quick replies as I usually do.

I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense, and I'm sorry if I didn't explain this better, but I need this. I need to focus on my life first before coming back to writing, so much is happening in my life and I have to deal with it first. I hope you all understand. Hopefully, this will only last till March or April, but I don't know. But until then...Stay safe, stay happy, and I'll see you all later.

-Blueflameknight