_ I'm drowning _

Chapter 7: binding in black and white .

Life has given us a beautiful feature, which is to see its wonderful colors, these colors make you feel alive, happy and free..... This is how it is expressed in humans; but even though I see it, it doesn't feel anything to me, is it maybe because I'm insensitive? I can even say that if she disappeared I wouldn't care.... .

The sky is clear and the sun is shining, it seems that it will be a vibrant and boring day, I don't want to go out of the house; but I can't, I have a partial Pilot Exam, which is important for moving to the second year, and I studied well to be the first like the other two semesters, also because of my love for biology, chemistry and anatomy ....... ; These are just topics to study, but the best aspect is that they introduce you to a new world where you get to know your body, what's inside and how it works, until I got to the point where I wish I could kill a human and explain to him to get to know the advantages of his body. Because we use dolls, and this is a small thing, being adults .

Damn, my eyes are hurting a lot these days and they are watering for no reason, I have three days and I'm like that .I have to go to the Doctor No, I have to save money to buy some books. The pain will be due to stress, this week I have not slept due to intensive preparation for the exam, I already suffer from insomnia. Is it a disease, of course it will, I am a pathology magnet will come, I am sure that cancer will visit me someday.... .

Hope, hope, Where Are you, naughty cat, Why don't you respond to your name didn't you like it, "why are you hiding from me; I hear that your name has a beautiful meaning and is "hope is beautiful" so when I call you you have to respond well, now I'll leave you food and water in front of the kitchen door now goodbye, so stay calm in my absence", he is a peaceful being and if you leave him without water and food he won't complain, not like the rest of the other beings humans obviously.... .

What is this, why is the traffic light gray, is fatigue makes me not see colors, what am I going to do, how am I going to cross the road. Well, I'll close my eyes, count to five and open them: one, two, three, four, five, the colors returned, as if I were controlling something. Fuck my head hurts what is this killer pain he doesn't want to go stop please stop....... .

_"Why are there no colors ; this whole road is not just traffic. The whole world has become black and white".... .

_"Why is the doctor late, I have two hours and I'm here."

_"I'm sorry, miss, but the doctor will be available to you shortly, look, the patient has been discharged, it's your turn, please come in."

_"What do you have, Miss?" .

_"Well how can I formulate that....., This week I took the exams .So I prepared for it morning and evening ; the last three days I had pain in my eyes and they were watering a lot .And now I'm here because I had a sharp pain in my head an hour ago and when I opened my eyes I saw only black and white until this moment" .

_"Did you have any injury to your head when you were little or these days?Is there anyone in your family who sees black and white ?" .

_"As for the injury, I didn't have it, as for the family, I didn't have it. Orphaned since I was a child" .

_"Well, then do you have a guardian, because you are a minor, and what I'm going to touch on is a serious topic" .

_"No, I'm here alone, I don't have a Guardian, I'm eighteen years old and I'm not a minor, so you can tell me."

_"In fact, you are colorblind" .

_"Color blindness , and what is it?" .

_"It is a disease in which the sufferer loses the surrounding colors, which are degrees, and the sufferer may not see two colors and other colors that he sees, and this sufferer has a treatment, he can use lenses; and if his head injury is the cause, he can do surgery. As for you, it seems that you are at the final stage, which is complete blindness" .

_"And what caused that , and I will remain that way all my life" .

_"Yes, it seems that you inherited this disease, and people with terminal grades are by inheritance, and yes you will stay like that all your life until a miracle happens and colors return to your life, but this is at zero five percent interval" .

_"Isn't it because of exhaustion, I haven't slept for a week" .

_"No, it can't be. Fatigue does not give such results. It is a hereditary disease" .

_"Damn, I accepted this name after a long argument with myself , and now they leave me this delicious thing, My does not go away" .

_"Excuse me?" .

_"No, it doesn't matter, thanks for your useless information" .

Yes, this is life , it's not fair for all people .From the very beginning she was not normal with me, I just kissed her; but now I feel that she kicked me out and says to me:" when your death will come, I'm tired of you", of course she will say this and I will not feel sad as long as the person who is called my family abandoned me, life will not stay with me, who she is for me; it's just a rope that I clung to to avoid sinking to the bottom but it seems that he wants to break up..... .