End Game (Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen)

The Very First Night

*** Content Warning: Smut - it will be marked again so you can skip if you'd like and mentions of self harm***

Charles Leclerc

"He knows. Christian knows about us."

My laughter stops in a heartbeat. Non, s'il vous plait, il ne peut pas. Ils ne peuvent pas encore le savoir. Si Fred le découvre, et si Ferrari le découvre? Et si je perds mon place, je t'en prie, non. [No, please he can't. They can't know yet. What if Fred finds out, what if Ferrari finds out? What if I lose my seat. Please, they can't know.]

"Charlie? Hey you there?" Max's hands are gripping my arm tightly, so hard it hurts just a little bit. It feels good, pain. I am ashamed to admit that out of all my coping habits pain is one of the ones I use to escape often. It is not what most people think of, there are no cuts to mar my skin, no external scars to draw a map of my sadness. It looks like an accident, scrapes and scratches on my shoulder, my stomach, where I can easily blame something like hiking or skiing. It is a lie. Sometimes I spend an hour scratching one mark repeatedly, until blood pools in the hollows between my muscles or runs down my arm. I do not know why, I just cannot stop.

"hmm? Yes sorry I am here."

"Charlie I don't know what's going on right now in your beautiful head but we need to leave. Right now. Are you okay to drive?" There is a tinge of fear to his voice, which finally pulls me from whatever spiral I had dove down. 

"I can drive." I say, shifting into 'drive' mode and peeling out of my parking spot. "Are you alright? What happened back there?"

"He said... he said I didn't deserve it." Tears well in Max's eyes and I can see him fighting to keep them at bay while he wrings his hands. "He said I'm worthless. That I should have lost my seat a long time ago and that I wasn't worth his time and money to travel all over the world when I can't do anything right. He said..." The dam finally breaks and tears rush down Max's face within a blink of my eye. He continues, whispering like it will somehow make the words less scary. "He said he should have left me to drown in the river."

I do not think my brain is capable of processing information anymore. "I am sorry, what?"

"I- when I was little we went camping between race seasons, me Victoria and da- Jos." Tears continue to fall as I reach over and clutch his hand, offering any sort of support I can while also getting us as far away from that demon of a human as possible. "I wanted to fish, so I went to the pond one morning with Victoria and we made poles while he cooked breakfast. It was the first time since I started racing that it seemed like he actually cared about me and not my racing result. Vic slipped on a rock and fell in the river, she was moving down the stream so fast and I knew I wouldn't be able to save her alone but I had to try. I ran down the shore a bit and and eventually waded in just ahead of where she was, grabbing hold of a fallen tree to stay in position. I grabbed her but lost my grip on the branch. I didn't know how to swim. Vic made it to shore but I was drowning and the water was freezing and I wanted to give up, so I did. The next thing I remember I was in an ambulance plugged into a bunch of machines." Max heaves a sigh, and I wonder if this is the first time he has ever told anyone the truth. "He wished he'd let me die."

Max sounds so defeated and by now my own eyes are blurry with tears as we pull into the valet at the hotel. "Maxie" I turn I my seat, gently moving my hands to cup his face. "You are the most amazing, kind, humble, incredible and loving person I know, there are not a thousand universes that I would not travel to spend even a single moment with you. I cannot begin to imagine my life without you, despite what Jos says to you. You are the sun in a sky full of stars, so necessary and important to so many people. Pen loves you. Kelly loves you. Vic loves you. Max I-" Fuck is this the moment? Am I really doing this? But Max nods gently into my hands and I know everything will be okay. "Max, I  love you. More than anything in this world I love you. I will choose you in every lifetime. Because you, mon amour, you are worth everything."