Saving Hope

Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Hope

It's the first time in years that I've slept through the night without worrying what every little sound was. Caleb slept right next to me, entwining me in his arms and legs. The morning came too fast, and I'm staying snuggled up against him until his alarm wakes him up. I've been exploring some very big decisions in this time since I've woken up and hope that I have answers before his alarm goes off.

Caleb is clearly a great guy. While I haven't spent a lot of time with him outside of work, I can tell by how he treated me last night that he's a man that can be trusted. My worry is that I might come to depend on that trust too much. If I let him into my world, he might decide he can't handle it and then all of my fears will come true. I know that one day I'll need to let someone in and I pray that when that happens, they can accept that Nathan is a part of my life at all costs.

It might be different if he was my child, someone I had a right to and could march him out of our home whenever I felt like it. That's not the case with Nathan. I have no legal right to him and I'm depending on my mother's constant drug abuse to keep her away long enough for me to get him out safe. I can only imagine what it would look like to a young man who has never experienced the life that I have, there's no way he could understand.

There's also this fear that's begun to build in my heart that Caleb will assume I'm after his money. I'm falling for him, but if he thought it was for his money it would break my heart. His money is no good to me; I want something that money can't buy. I want a safe future for my brother and no amount of money can guarantee me that.

Today, when we get back into his car I'll have a choice to let him see a small part of my world and risk the chance he will run, or I can have him drop me off at that bus stop and keep up this secrecy so I can have him for a little bit longer. As the minutes tick down I feel the anxiety rise. I don't know if I should let him in or keep him locked out.

The alarm ringing brings me back to him and I let his warmth surround me as he pulls me closer.

"Good morning, Hope." He kisses the back of my neck and then reaches across me to turn off his alarm. He pulls the blankets back up our bodies and settles in against me as if we have all day to lie around.

"Good morning, Caleb." He laughs softly behind me.

"Do you want to take a shower before you have to go?" I nod my head but hold on to him tighter. I don't want to have to go. I have all day off and could spend it with him if I didn't have Nathan. Nathan must come first. I wiggle out of his arms and head for the bathroom. I leave the door cracked and turn on the water in the shower.

When the room is filled with steam and I've taken of the clothes he gave me last night and folded them nicely, I climb into the shower and close the door. It's made of a beautiful glass and when it shuts, the glass appears to crack and fog making it impossible to see into the shower. It's amazing what money can buy. As I dip my head under the hot water I hear the door open and I'm frozen in place as Caleb steps inside the bathroom.

"I'm just leaving you a toothbrush and some clean clothes. I found a pair of yoga pants my sister left here but she didn't leave a shirt. I'm leaving the smallest one I have." I hear him slide a drawer open and put something on the sink. "I'm going to take a shower down the hall and then I can take you back to the bus."

"Thank you." I say as the nervousness flips my stomach. I could let him drive me home and I would have more time with him, but would it be the only time I get once he sees where I come from? I decide I'll see how I feel when we get to my stop.

When I'm finished with my shower and step back into the room, he's standing at his dresser pulling clothes from the drawer. His towel is draped across his hips and his hair is still wet. I study the ink he has across his back and the way his muscles move as he pulls the clothes out. When he turns around and our eyes meet I would swear there 's something electric between us.

I make my way over to where he's standing and watch as he studies me. I trace my finger along a tattoo that runs up his arm and across his shoulder. Everything inside me warms as I feel his flesh beneath my touch. When I continue to move my hand across his body, he lightly puts his hands on my hips. The heat from his touch brings on a new excitement and I wonder how we ever fell asleep last night so close to each other with the energy I'm feeling with him right now.

Caleb dips his head forward and captures my lip, slowly tugging it into his mouth. I give into the kiss and arch against him as his hands slide under my shirt and along my ribs. I'm not sure how far he'll take this and I know we don't have much time. Taking my hands away from him long enough to pull my shirt over my head, I watch as Caleb's expression changes and his eyes travel across the newly exposed skin. His hands are on me again in an instant and I tip my head so he can kiss my neck.

It feels like an eternity before his hands slide down to my waist again. His thumbs hook into the pants and my panties and Caleb pulls back to watch my face for my permission. Nodding, I help him to shimmy my pants down until there's nothing between us but his towel. That's a problem I have no trouble fixing.

Caleb slowly guides me backwards until my calves hit the bed and then climbs on top of me, urging me up onto the pillows. I love the weight of him on top of me. His hands explore my skin and I close my eyes helping me to focus on the way his rough fingers feel as they trail hot lines across the exposed flesh.

"Hope, if we do this you have to let me in a little. I'm not going to have sex with you and then drop you off at some bus stop. If you aren't ready for me to know that part of you, then we're not ready for this." I can feel his stare so I open my eyes and wait as he stills above me.

"Promise me you won't push. Promise I can show you my world a little at a time." I watch as he nods his head and a small smile crosses his face. He brushes my bangs aside and then kisses my lips again.

"I promise. No more fucking bus stop." I nod my head with a smile and hope I've made the right choice. I'm not sure what it will feel like when it's over but right now it feels right. Caleb reaches into the nightstand and grabs a small foil wrapper. Taking it from his hand, I open it and put it on him. His eyes don't leave mine as he presses into me and I feel the last piece of my heart fall over the edge.