will they? won't they? | gawsten

chapter nine: almosts and misses

awsten had cleaned himself up for the most part before his friends had got back, but depending on how drunk they were maybe they wouldn't be able to tell something was off. but based off how loud they sounded outside he could only imagine how much they had, honestly better for awsten in this case.

they wandered into the bandwagon, the door slamming behind otto, making the blue boy flinch back in his seat in the small-once vacant-living room.

"hey aws," otto greeted his friend, seeming like he wasn't as far gone as the other two, and probably sobered up on the way back here.

the blue boy gave a stiff wave, and a smile that didn't hide anything as much as he wished it would. but otto didn't comment, thankfully.

but immediately things went from bad to worse that night.

geoff had found himself sitting-very close-next to awsten on the shitty couch, awsten internally blaming it on how tiny the space was. the other two had gone off to bed, leaving geoff and awsten basically alone.

"hey," geoff greeted with a smile, a smile that awsten had to convince himself wasn't gorgeous.

"hi," awsten replied in more of a whisper, heart racing at their knees lightly touching.

"you okay?" the brunette asked, turning to face his friend, not noticing how much his words was slurring together.

the blue boy was shocked he even picked up on what was wrong, which geoff chuckled at his expression, saying, "i always can tell when you're upset, aws. no matter h'w much you wanna pr'tend 're fine."

"it's nothing you need to worry about, gee," awsten replied, scratching at his fingers, which geoff put a stop to immediately.

the brunette held one of awsten's hands in his, interlacing their fingers like he did before their first show. "you can talk to me, if y'd like."

"um," he swallowed, trying to ignore the way geoff rubbed his thumb against awsten's.

he felt the brunette shift closer, his heart picking up more and more as their non-conversation started and ended again.

"aws," geoff whispered, aws' mismatched eyes flicking up to look at him. all the blue boy could see in his eyes was earnest care and comfort, he didn't want to look away.

"yeah?" awsten replied, his breath hitching slightly.

"can i have a hug? please?" and who was he to say no? he took geoff into his arms but the brunette had awsten lie his head on his chest. "i f'nd more comfort 'n holding you."

and if that didn't make awsten's heart race he didn't know what would. that was almost too much. and it felt illegal to hear such things come from geoff. if he wasn't drunk he wouldn't say this or act like this, but awsten felt himself relishing in the moment anyway.

geoff held him tight, not too tight, but more of a grounding hug. it felt secure, and safe. the blue boy felt himself sigh out at the feeling, brain reeling at every turn.

after a few moments geoff went to let go but awsten wasn't having it, he squeezed the other tighter. "please."

geoff smiled a little and let him stay, eyes widening as awsten climbed into his lap, getting impossibly closer. they tried to act like this didn't effect themselves, but they knew they were in deep now. but there was time to turn back, to say "goodnight, bud" and have it be that. but not for these two.

"hey i, um," geoff began, one of his hands reaching up to run through blue hair, a feeling awsten yearned for since the first time he'd done it. "nevermind."

"you sure?" awsten asked, rubbing geoff's back, eyes closed in content.

"yeah," the taller sighed out, gently kissing the top of awsten's head, leaving his lips there for an extra moment or two, cursing himself out as he felt awsten's actions still. "fuck wait."

awsten looked up at geoff, a look in his eye that the brunette couldn't place, the alcohol troubling his judgement. "it's okay."

geoff couldn't believe it, "what?"

"it's fine, geoff," the smaller replied, letting his eyes dip down but only for a second.

geoff let his eyes dip down too, swallowing nervously as their faces started to hover closer and closer. "we should uh," the brunette whispered, voice wavering.

"yeah," the blue boy replied, pulling away but still on geoff's lap.

"goodnight, awsten," the brunette replied, the cue for awsten to-unfortunately-get up.

"goodnight, geoff," the shorter mumbled, sort of bummed he and geoff didn't kiss, but knew it was for the best. no need to confuse things further.

the blue boy paced the floor for a little while before heading off to bed himself, kicking himself every second he should've been asleep. he should've just went to bed.