Compilation of Good Omens One Shots

Fucking car

Summary: When his angel is in danger, Crowley is able of anything. Even if he thinks Aziraphale will be mad - and he will. Fucking car.

1356 words

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Aziraphale and Crowley had decided to meet in Berkeley square. Well, more precisely, Crowley had called Aziraphale to ask him to join him for a private purpose there, and Aziraphale wanted to see the demon anyways, so he accepted.

Aziraphale crossed the road, and though he did look both ways twice, he heard the sound of the motor of a car coming straight to him at full speed. He knew he wouldn't have enough time to move out of the way. He would get discorporated.

A dark and red thing pulled him out of the road.

'Crowley?'

The demon swore to the car, which stopped abruptly. The driver got out and walked to them. He was tall, taller than both of them, and most certainly stronger than them both. And he was mad.

'What did you say, you bitch?'
'I said watch out when you drive, stupid cow!'

It was nothing like he had just said, but he didn't like to displease the angel, and the angel didn't like swear words. And apparently, it was also the man's case.

'And you should watch out when you cross the road, queer goat!'
'Okay, now that's too much,' Crowley muttered to himself.

He walked towards the man. Everyone could see his anger by the way he moved. The man could see it just as well as any other, and Crowley read doubt and even some fear in his eyes as he stumbled backwards. They were now six feet away from Aziraphale, and the man couldn't go any further, his back pressed against the wall.

'You're lucky I don't have time for this,' said the demon. 'I have a bunch of men ready to catch you any moment, waiting for a sign of mine. And also a gun in my back.'

The car driver thought he did look like a mafia boss. And he could have a gun in his back. Whatever he would decide to do, now was not a time to do it. Crowley eventually stepped back and turned round.

Aziraphale saw it coming. He saw the man getting something out of his vest. He saw the glimpse of light reflecting on the metallic object. But before he could warn him, Crowley had been shot. Everyone around heard the loud "bang" provoked by the gun. People started screaming and running as blood dropped from the demon's wound. Aziraphale stood there, frozen, his brain trying to process what he saw. And again the man shot - straight in the head. Crowley fell down, bleeding head. Dead.

Death was there to pick him. Nobody knows what exactly happened between the demon and the Horseman of Apocalypse, but Crowley, after a few dozens of seconds, stood up, to the man's greatest fear. The demon approached him and whispered to his ear. After a moment, he added, louder:

'Now go, and don't you dare drive over the speed limit anymore!'

The man ran away, and Crowley came back to Aziraphale, complaining his new jacket was ruined.

***

Back at Aziraphale's bookshop, the bookseller looked angry. Not so much, but still, enough not to talk to the demon.

'You're mad at me, Angel?'

Aziraphale didn't answer, rearranging the books on the shelf. Yes, he definitely was mad at him. Crowley sat on the couch, looking at him.

'Come on, tell me what's wrong. I'm sorry, okay?'
'Do you even know why you're sorry?' Aziraphale asked.
'Actually...'
'I don't know what you did to this man, but it was definitely wrong. I could feel his fear. You cursed him, didn't you?'