Every single word builds up to this moment
And I gotta convince myself I don't want it
Even though I do (Even though I do)
You could break my heart in two
But when it heals, it beats for you
I know it's forward, but it's true
I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to
When I'm lying close to someone else
You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it
If I could do it all again
I know I'd go back to you
When Fourth grabbed my hand, I didn't even notice it at first, I was too busy watching Pond and Joong. We had to make sure our suspicions were right. Fourth didn't bother going out the door, he figured it would take too long. Instead, he used the exit to the terrace. He pushed my wheelchair as quietly as possible and in a moment we had a perfect view of what was happening in the next room. Our friends didn't think anyone could spy on them, and almost everything was visible through the thin curtains. We saw Pond sitting on the edge of the bed in just a white top, with Joong leaning over him. Even before it happened, we already knew where this would lead. I looked away. I didn't want to witness this. It disgusted me, disgusted me and disgusted me. It was my brother's boyfriend... With my friend. My worst fears came true.
"Let's go back," I whispered, and Fourth just nodded and pushed my wheelchair back into the room.
"And what now?"
"I don't know, I'll call Phu". I replied. "He must know the truth. It's his boyfriend, I don't understand why he does this? What's wrong with my brother? I've been mad at my brothers for various reasons before, but I didn't know he was having such a hard time. I have to tell him".
"What if we ruin everything?"
"I think there's nothing to ruin, Pond already ruined it. My brother can be mean, but he's my brother and he deserves better".
We got back to the room just in time before I froze to death. We closed the windows tightly. It was bitterly cold. Fourth handed me the phone and sat down in the chair across from me. He kept his hand on my knee throughout the conversation. It felt so good that I didn't want it to ever end. Maybe I wasn't as insensitive and hard a rock as I thought I was?
With him I feel at ease, I know I can do whatever I want. He makes me laugh a little more than usual and I think I talk and think too much. It's funny because before, I didn't have to think much, every day was planned from start to finish, every minute was a familiar routine that calmed me down in some way. And now my life is full of chaos. My life started to feel like a roller coaster ride. I'm not sure of anything anymore.
Phu amazed me.
"I know that."
I've never heard so much resignation and sadness in his voice, although I'm sure he tried to hide it. He sounded like he was pretending that he was enjoying it, that nothing was happening, but it was.
«He's your boyfriend, he shouldn't be doing this to you! If he really loves you, he would choose you, and if he doesn't love you, let him give you your freedom and let you find someone who will truly appreciate you, notice you and love you.» - I felt like telling him, but we don't say things like that to each other. The Tangsakyuens, they don't talk about feelings. It's not like us. We keep everything to ourselves and don't let it affect our relationships with others. Of course, I am an exception to this rule, I have always been the black sheep of this family, that's why I can get angry, I can I can say out loud what I don't like and then I get hit for it because we don't do that in our country. I was taught that feelings don't matter. And Phu... Why is he so submissive? Why does he agree to this? Why himself? won't break up with him if Pond hurts him so much?
YOU ARE READING
Blinding Lights: Despite Everything GeminiFourth
Fanfiction{DEVIL: Despite Everything, Villain I Loved} Gemini Norawit has many secrets, but the boy next to him seems to have even more of them. Gem has to think over his life once again to understand who he really is. Will famous but hated by many musician f...
