Star marked (vld au)

chap 2 - maws and vines

⚠️‼‼Trigger warning body dysphoria and self harm is in this chapter!!!

Pidge POV

"He was a good man... my brother... and... a father..." Ryner glanced in my direction with sadness and concern but she kept on talking but..

it quickly drowned out to white noise as I stared blankly at the ground a numbness rage and grief.. barely lasted have a phoeb.. he- my dad he died... he lied to me.. he lied to our family that'd he'd be okay.. they found out not too long after he had been found dead that it was some type of galran mechanical fuel that had been pumped into him for whatever reason we'll never know and he died from it's poisoning... he didn't tell us the truth so we wouldn't worry yet hee he is making us feel worse then what he probably wanted.. 'asshole' I slowly diverted my eyes to the cacophony that was his body turning into a tree live. (Olkarians here don't really bury their loved ones in coffins they just throw them in the dirt and their bodies immediately turn into trees) I stared at it blankly no visible signs of emotion when I feel piercing eyes on me. I slowly look up into the crown of olkarians and meet my mother's eyes from across the field... staring at me with pure utter disgust, anger, rage, grief and blame.. I stare blankly at her all the same when she eventually rips her eyes away to go walk up to the frowning tree and voice her grievances my eyes following her till she leaves the corner of my peripheral, Ryner gently walked up to me and gently placed her hand on my shoulder as I look up to meet her gentle concerned gaze 'at least I was given one female family member that doesn't blame me for breathing' I horribly muster up a smile before it immediately fades and I start silently bawling. Weeping in my wheelchair I didn't even bother to go while standing I know I'd fall. As Ryner hugs me and rubs my back whilst I cried. "Do you wish to leave early pidge?" She muttered in my ear as I silently nodded in tears, she tapped on one of the handles of my wheelchair and it silently glowed to life and started walking out as we left silently (wheelchairs here in olkaria move with spider legs instead of wheels so ig they'd be called aid chairs or spider chairs), we decided that we'd go to the green lion's grove for me to be left alone to grieve Ryner knew I didn't really want to cry when others were around and I appreciated that, she told me she'd be back in a varga or two. Just me sitting here on my own, well.. I have the plants here with me... and green yeah I'll call it green keeping it simple. I limp over to the foot of green and sit atop it. Weirdly enough the cold metal felt reassuring or just being near the lion felt reassuring maybe its the whole unexplainable science shabang I dont know but at this point crying on a giant metal lions foot sounded pretty normal.

Many Quintants later,
Not too long after I've already been found drowning in my work working with wires and such I've also been spending more time with solely Ryner and green, can't believe I'm counting a giant mechanical lion as social points but I dont really have he energy to handle people right now just work work work, work. Work... yeah my brain feels like mush when I go to bed right when the sun arises only to barely sleep, I've been walking much better on my own but once again I think I've become too dependent on my pain medication but I've been spending loads of my time with green and weirdly enough being in her presence has made me not, I can't really explain it just not in pain?? I guess me finally coming into contact with the beast has made me a little bit hallucinatory as I've been hearing ominous voices that I've deducted to be green's and my neck mark itches whenever it talks so pretty obvious theory. I sigh as I type codes and words into my documentation of my experience with green clear bags under my eyes "ugh I think I'm losing my mind..." I groan and lean back hitting my head against green immediately jolting my head forward holding the back of it "yeouch" I mutter, I put my cube away and sigh I turn my head in attempts to see the head of green but she's too big, I've considered leaving on green many times but I feel as though I have more responsibilities to do here on olkarion like going back to being the head of mechanical tech or maybe going back to the medical wing but Ryner's been stopping me ugh she already knows I've been drowning in work to avoid my feelings hate when she calls me out. I groan as I get off green remembering some of the olkarian pilots asked for some of the new upgrades on their ships I gather up my equipment that I never really realized but I've been slowly moving it to greens grove and then swallow a few painkillers and start hobbling back into the arsenal base watching as some of the older larvae play some kick ball at the crack of dawn "up too early huh kids?" I say to them as their ball slowly rolls over to my feet and they look at me expectantly to kick it back as I eye the ball and do a cautious smirk and shift myself so that my good leg takes all my weight as I use my bad leg to kick it , it was not a good idea though as I feel pain surging through my leg but you know gotta tough it out for the larvae, I kicked it pretty far as they catch it with their knees making sure not to use their hands and they laugh and wave at me as I turn to start walking back I mumble a good groan of pain as I rub my thigh as a shit attempt to sooth it somehow and not even a few steps later I hear a window shatter and I turn my head to face the other larvae just as shocked as I am "SCATTER!!" I Yelp as I hear someone inside go 'what the hell?!?' All the kids scatter almost immediately clambering to run away properly and not a second after I also bolt obviously in the direction of the pilots ward, slowing down not too long after running away and stopping sitting on a block, groaning in agony 'whatever hope those troublemakers get away with it... ugh I sound old'. I use some of our magic on my leg to help ease the pain while I grab some more painkillers, sitting down long enough to let them kick in, I stood up "alright let's finish this journey... not before I get some breakfast of course" I mumble and then start on walking.