Sin City ( Chaesoo G!P 18+ ) ✅

Chapter 37

Roseanne's POV

"I lost her."

Jisoo's words echoed.

Breaking my heart every time she spoke.

I was so numb.

I haven't registered my movements until the cold air whipped against my face. I hailed a cab and made my way home. My stomach twisted in knots as I wrapped my fingers around the knob of the apartment I shared with Chanyeol.

I knew that whatever conversation I would have with him wouldn't end well. Even if he was willing to forgive me for my behavior over the past few weeks, what would that change? Because instead of following him home I stayed with Jisoo. We didn't have sex but it was still wrong. But I know that Jisoo and I both needed closure. I knew that my decision compromised any chance I might've had at reconciliation with Chanyeol but I had to do it.

I know that I'm in love with Jisoo and our relationship is more than just sex although it was overly sexualized. That fact was and still remains hard for me to believe but it was the truth. She filled the void that Chanyeol left behind every time he chose work over me.

Jisoo had time for me.

Even though she was the owner of a sex club, she made time for me. She made me feel special. Along with fulfilling my fantasy of being with a dominating person; a woman that society, my family and Chanyeol viewed as bad for me. Regardless of what anyone else thought this affair was emotional as much as it was sexual. Most times I felt like Jisoo knew me better than Chanyeol.

She knew that I liked attention.

She knew I wanted a someone who would choose me over anyone else. That's what she became for me. The woman who made me feel like the end-all be-all.

A woman who needed me.

The truth and reality of the situation was that Chanyeol is my husband. I had everything that mattered with him.

He was my strength.

My supporter.

He allowed me to pursue my dream by supporting me while I wrote my first manuscript. He loved me before I was glamorized, before I matured into the woman I was and started dressing more appropriately. He knew all of my flaws and accepted them.

I didn't get married out of obligation or misfortune. Chanyeol and I loved each other. I still love him and I'll always love him. It's virtually impossible to forget the first man you ever loved. It's also virtually impossible to forget the man you lost your virginity to. He was both my first love and the man I lost my innocence to.

I made a mistake with Jisoo, but it was a mistake I had to make to realize that people like her are disapproved of for a good reason.
Jisoo needed saving.

I couldn't save her because I was just as lost and clueless as she was. I wished her well and I loved her but couldn't choose her. Even if my heart never stops breaking at the reality of not being with her. I had to make the right decision. At least for once. And that is by choosing to save my marriage. Choosing Chanyeol.

I forced myself into the apartment and I noticed Chanyeol laying slack on the sofa half of his body was dangling off the edge. He rimmed the lip of his glass of scotch with his finger making a horrific, high pitched sound. My throat tightened making me feel like I was suffocating in a pool of my own guilt.

"Chanyeol?" I called.

My voice was a pathetic whisper. He didn't move when he bitterly spoke."One. O'clock. In. The. Morning. She finally comes home at one o'clock in the fucking morning. This gets better and better."