Crush Me

Ten

Leanne

At least he didn't push me away. That's something. And he's holding me tighter than ever. How did he know exactly what to say to help me?

"Your eyes, Leanne. I can see my life in them. And it probably sounds stupid."

Leanne tilted her head back to look up at him again. His hair was tousled, and his pupils were dilatated, and his irises a wonderful rich golden brown.

"It's not stupid. I've dreamt of this happening for so long, and it's the same for me. I keep thinking you're going to be with me forever."

I'm not going to say anything about what I'm feeling against my hip. I'll bet it's surprising him too.

"Do we have any Kleenex™ around here?" Leanne asked. Her nose felt like she had the worst cold.

"I think there might be some in the pouch on the back of the seats in front of us,"

Leanne untangled herself from the blanket and swung her legs off the bed. She laid her hand on his thigh, and his hand settled over hers.

"I'm sorry I got so angry about you touching me earlier. I've never been able to trust anyone that close to me before. But you're different. If I make you feel safe, it's the same for me. I know I can trust you."

Wilson guided her hand up his leg to the crease at the top of his thigh.

"Feel that?"

Leanne winced in sympathy. "Yeah. How did you get it? It feels pretty bad."

"This morning when my dad attacked me. Again."

The growl that came from her throat astonished her. "At least my stepdad hasn't touched me. Yet. I can tell he's thinking about it though."

"I'll kill your stepfather if he touches you."

Leanne felt a primal thrill at his words but changed the subject.

"Mom decided she's putting a lock on my door. It's the first hint I've had that she's even noticed what's going on. It was the last thing she told me before we got to the airport. When she's not drunk, she's pretty great."

"But you can't count on her, right?" Wilson said. "Dad was pretty great before he started drinking too."

"Makes it hurt worse doesn't it?" Leanne whispered. Leaning forward, she dug into the pouch in front of Wilson's seat. Finding what she wanted, she popped the package open and blew her nose.

"Better?" Wilson asked.

"Yes. What you said, about being stronger after letting it all go? It's true. How did you know?"

"Mom. It's a long story. I'll tell you while we wait for dinner."

"I was going to do the blog thing, but you're more important right now."

Wilson pulled his legs up against his chest and wrapped his arms around he is knees. He rested his chin on them and said, "Come over here."

She arranged herself on his bed facing him. Pulling her legs up into a half lotus position she bent forward and touched his hand. She noticed how his fingers wrapped around hers, longer by almost an inch than hers.

"This is going to be hard. I've never told anyone from here about this. The agreement was made in France between my father, myself, and a lawyer who wrote the contract. It was a way to hold Dad accountable, but I don't think it was legal."

Leanne clamped down on the urge to ask why. It would make sense when she heard the rest of it. As she listened, her heart contracted. What a vicious thing to do to a kid going through puberty.

And I thought I had it bad. The touchy feely babysitter and being locked in my room were nothing. But I get it. He saved his sister and his mother. God he's strong. What was it the support group said online? Right, first it wasn't your fault, and then you are not a victim, you are a survivor. I have to tell him that.

Leanne bent forward and leaned on her elbows, holding her head with her hands. She kept her eyes on his as he talked and when he finally went silent, she spoke.

"So, you're out of this hell when we graduate at the end of May?"

Wilson nodded. "I think it was stupid thing to do now. But back then, all I wanted was for my sister and mother to be safe. And Dad wasn't drinking absolutely every time he got home."

"This wasn't your fault, no matter what he says," Leanne insisted.

"Yeah, right. I should have gone to the cops, a teacher, someone."

"Uh-uh. You did what you needed to do to survive in that moment. It was right for then. You're here now. You survived."

"What makes you say that? Mom thinks I hate her. The agreement was I wouldn't say anything to her about it, and she's been trying to get me to come to France for the last three years. Since sophomore year. I had to stay, or he was going to track them down and pay them a visit."

"See. You did what you had to, to keep them safe. You survived everything because of that. And you're going to see your mom when we get to Paris, right?"

Wilson nodded. He looked so miserable.

"No more beating yourself up. Here comes dinner. I say we have that glass of wine and after I write my blog, we'll go to sleep. When we wake up, Paris will be on the horizon. I'll come with you when you go to your mother."

"It would be the first alcohol ever for me," Wilson whispered. "I get teased about that too."

I can't blame him for changing the subject. Not that this one is much better.

"This bunch of kids is toxic. I know I'm not fat. If I believe you, I'm not ugly either. When you hear it often enough, it's hard not to make it the truth." Leanne pushed her glasses up and got up. "You should put your seat in the normal config now. I can hear the carts rattling back there. Our food should be here soon."

She started moving the footstool part back and it slid out of sight.

Wilson uncurled himself and stood up beside her. He put his arms around her and hugged her tight. Then his hands came up and cradled her face. "Can I kiss you?"