Life in Pink (BoyXBoy)

Chapter Seven

~Jason*~

It had been a few days since my fight with Rosie and, as I expected, he still hasn't reached out to me. As sad as it made me, somehow, I knew that this would be the outcome. If I didn't reach out to him, he wasn't going to reach out to me. Even though it was all I wanted, I couldn't allow myself to say anything to him. I was always the one chasing him and if I apologize to him now, we'll just be forced into that same cycle. I don't want that.

I want him to want to talk to me. These days, it's like he won't speak to me if I don't reach out first and it's been hurting my feelings. I feel like a burden, like I'm the only one who wants us to be together. Does he really not want to be with me in that way? I thought that talking about it just made him uncomfortable but... Is that why he keeps avoiding me, because he doesn't actually want that kind of relationship with me? Even... Even if that is the case, we can still talk about it. I'd be hurt, yes, but... I wouldn't be angry with him. But how will we ever move forward, in any direction, if he keeps avoiding the problem? I mean, fuck, I don't even know how he's holding it together because I've been an absolute mess since our fight. I feel empty without him.

I can talk all I want to about how he needs to come to me and that I'm done trying to force him to talk, but honestly, the whole reason that I dragged myself out of my depression bed today was because I knew that he would be at this party. And I wanted to see him so badly.

Even if she was on his arm.

I raised my solo cup to my lips, ignoring all of the laughter and dancing going on around me, and took a large swig. Yes, I had picked myself up today and forced myself to shower, do my hair, and look presentable, all on the off chance that I might see Rosie here today. But so far, I was regretting it. Rosie hadn't even shown up yet and I was starting to doubt that he would. I had found myself a seat on the loveseat of Mason's living room, planted myself there, and I hadn't moved in an hour. I wrinkled my nose, staring into my cup. Geez, even booze doesn't make me feel better. Whoever says that it does is a liar.

I found myself reaching for my shoulder, my fingers instantly finding the bite mark that Rosie had left. I gave it a squeeze. Even though he had drawn blood, the wounds had quickly sealed, and now, after so many days, the scabs had fallen off, leaving only bruises behind. The dark, violent purple had started to fade into a light yellowish gray, and I knew within the next few days, they would be gone completely. I practically whimpered at the thought.

When Rosie finally arrived, I felt like my heart was going to stop. Seeing him again, for the first time in days, made it feel like it was coming back to life. I immediately straightened myself up and moved to fix my hair, checking my reflection in the dark window nearby. Not that it mattered though. When he came into the living room, his eyes barely grazed over me. They didn't even stop. That really hurt.

He didn't seem bothered, not even a little bit. While I had been wallowing in self-pity, dying to talk to him, beating myself up for even saying anything in the first place, in his mind I had already been forgotten and he had moved on with her. Now, I don't know what's going on in Rosie's head, so, of course, that's just what it looked like to me. But once the idea was in my head, it was hard to shake it.

And of course, she looked incredible.

She led him into the room by his hand, elegantly dancing around everyone else, as though she had known these people all her life, instead of just meeting them all tonight. She looked as though she belonged here, the life of the party, so flawlessly and effortlessly perfect.

Naturally, she was a hot topic. I could hear the whispers around me, about how beautiful she was and how lucky she was to be with Nick, how lucky he was to be with her. The woman who had finally caught his attention, succeeded where so many others had tried and failed. How had she done it? What was she like? What did she have that any of the others had lacked? It was all so hard to ignore, and I wasn't ashamed to admit just how jealous it made me. I was no better than any of these other girls, bitching and whining about how they missed their chance with Nick. But it seemed as though none of us could truly hate Star, no matter how hard we tried. She was charismatic and bubbly, quick-witted and fun. She foiled him perfectly and fit him like a glove.