Dear Patrick (FOB/Patrick Stump FanFic)

Chapter 12

I was sitting at the small kitchen table in my new apartment, a coffee mug in my hands. The caffeinated beverage had gotten cold because I hadn't drank it. I just was holding it.

Knock knock knock

"Come in," I muttered sadly.

The door to my apartment cracked open and the friend who helped me move popped her head in. She smiled at me and I forced myself to smile back.

She closed the door behind her and walked into the kitchen, getting herself a cup of coffee.

"Well you look exceptionally shitty today," She commented on my appearance. Overgrown hair, bags under my eyes, sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt (since I'd lost a lot of weight in the past few years).

"Thank you," I retorted, glancing up a her and watching as she poured at least four spoonfuls of sugar into her mug. She picked it up and took a sip, nodding her head when the drink was to her liking and turning around and sitting across from me.

"When's the last time you got out of the house?" She inquired casually, meeting my sad gaze.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know...a week ago? Or maybe it was two weeks...I can't remember."

She shook her head, "You need to get back out there, Patrick. You need to get back to normal."

"What even is normal?" I mumbled under my breath, tracing my thumb in circles on the side of my mug.

"Not this," She answered, "You need to get a haircut. Wear something that isn't covered in stains. Turn that frown upside down. It's been more than a year, Patrick, almost a year and a half. You need to move on!"

"And how do you suppose I do that?" I looked up at her, my eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

She took a sip of her coffee, murmuring, "Why not try getting back into the dating world?"

I laughed, thinking her idea was the stupidest thing I had ever heard.

"No, I'm being serious. You need someone to keep your mind..." She leaned over to table and poked my forehead, "...off of her. She's dead. She's gone. Accept it."

"I did. I threw her diary away."

"You what!?!" She yelled at me, standing up and slamming her hands down on the table.

I raised my eyebrow in confusion, "What's the big deal? You agreed that I needed to move on, and I thought that throwing that thing away would help."

"But why would you do that? I spent nearly ten years pouring my heart and soul into my thing and you just threw it away!?!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked her.

Her eyes widened and her cheeks grew red, "I mean..." She slowly lowered herself back down into her chair, "...Why would you do that? Your girlfriend probably poured her heart and soul into those entries. They detailed every major moment in your relationship with her. It was the last thing you had of her. How could you just throw it away?"

"I-I needed to," I explained nervously, "It was bringing up old memories I didn't want to remember."

"And this is why you should go back into the dating world," She leaned back in her chair, "So you don't have to remember those memories. You can make new memories. Replace the old ones. And maybe this time you'll find someone who won't hurt you with every chance they get."

I hung my head and heaved a sigh, "Maybe you're right..."