Reneé Rapp and Y/N romance book.
I'm sick of my tummy hurting, I just need you.
(all of this fiction, I don't intend to own, impersonate, tell false truths about the characters. None of this is true, nor am I pushing a false narrative. All for fict...
I left y/n's apartment as soon quickly as I could. I don't know what's up with her and what I did for her to suddenly act distant from me. Sure we ended up cuddling during the movie, but she was acting off after she showered and then as soon as we got into that conversation, she completely dropped it when she got the news about Raffie. What sort of name is Raffie anyway?
It's probably my fault, I'm too much and too full on. I can't ever just take things at a regular pace, I can't believe I screwed this up before anything even got started between us.
I text Alexander, letting him know I'm on my way to the studio.
I'm sat at the piano, I don't realise how long I've been here until Alexander swings the door open, with Alyah right behind him. I look up and I'm confused when both their faces soften in sympathy.
"What?" I croak confused, that's when I feel the tears streaming down my face. Have I been crying the whole time?
"Nae" Alyah coos, bringing me into a hug, rubbing my back as I fully break down, "let it out baby" and Alexander passes me tissues as I pull out of the hug.
"What's going on Nae?" he asks sympathetically.
"I-I'm not, I don't know, I like her so much but she doesn't see me like that. I'm too much, too full on, I thought she liked-- and now stupid Raffie is visiting and she's so excited and I'm just nothing to her." I struggle out between sobs, gasping for air.
"No okay, don't talk about yourself like that, take us to beginning. How did we get here, what happened?"
I explained everything that happened with y/n at her apartment, and how I made the shower comment, how she started acting a little off and that our conversation got halted because of the texts she received from Florence's sister.
"Nae maybe it's not all that bad, I know I haven't got to know y/n like you have. But from what I can tell, the girl does seem to be really into you, I wouldn't stress to much about it. Maybe she's just used to taking things a little slower, I do remember her mentioning she struggles with a little with anxiety."
"I don't know Yaya, this whole Raffie thing has me thinking too, like she was soo excited to hear from her, it just makes me think." I trail off.
"Girl no, we're not doing that. This little jealousy thing is not productive, you've only just started to get to know her, you can't be jumping to conclusions before even meeting the girl." Alex adds in.
"I don't like sharing" I quip back.
"Nae, I know you like her and you guys have a connection. But hunny, and I know it's harsh, but she isn't yours and you're getting ahead of yourself with all this claiming business." Alex says gently.
"I know," I sigh in frustration, "but I want her to be mine and I'm worried" I let out.
"We know dude, it sucks right now but it will all work out how in time. Now show us the what you've been working on here... do I sense deluxe snow angel.." he nods to the paper I had scribbled lyrics onto before they got here.
I spent the rest of the night with my favourite people distracting me from everything, eating chinese food, goofing around mostly and getting some music out of my heightened emotions.
It was about 5am, and it was just me and Alexander left. Alyah had tapped out about half hour ago, as we ended getting more engrossed in finishing up the song I had started writing earlier on in the night.
"This is so beautiful Reneé" Alexander comments, as we're figuring out the harmonies I want to include when we get around to actually recording the song.
"I think I'm going to record a little acoustic snippet for tiktok." I tell him and he just hums in agreement, whilst I set up my phone on the piano.
I recorded the piece and trimmed it to the part I wanted to share, and saved it to my drafts not deciding to post it quite yet.
We finish up at the studio at around 10ish, after touching up on some other pieces we've been working, and now I'm finally at home, just kinda rotting in bed. I still feel so, which is weird because usually after a session in the studio, my head is usually put at ease for at least a while. But I still cant stop thinking about y/n... and Florence's sister; I know I shouldn't be worried, they're family friends and everything, but I can't help but worry. I mean the age gap may as well be non-existence, she must be what like 20 and god if she's anything like Florence, of course she's going to be gorgeous.
I pick up my phone and post the clip of the song on tiktok and exit the app, and open Instagram, absent- mindly scrolling through peoples stories. My heart dropped, of course she's gorgeous, of course y/n is hugging her so deeply, smiling ear to ear. I could never make her feel that happy. I force myself to tap past it, just to see y/n has posted another picture.
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baby Raf in Central Park, this is not a drill!! missed you too much squish 🩵
Now don't tell I'm crazy, that's the most couple-y pose ever. Urgh why did I let myself think y/n would actually like me, sure we've gotten really affectionate but does that even mean anything? She probably thought it was nothing. This is what I get for having a flirty personality I guess, she thought 'it was too good to be true', that's my fault. She wouldn't of thought that if I wasn't the way I am, I'm too much, too full on. Fuck, I going to bed I cant deal with this.
******
word count 1021
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