MaddyTheHuman X A Lemon

Chapter 1: A Cafe Meet-up

Note: I'm aroace myself I'm not invalidating Maddy. This entire fic is satire, plus aroace is a spectrum so ig in this fic they're on a part of the spectrum where they feel a bit of romantic attraction, this is only for the fic I don't think aros require partners, esp lemons as partners. Maddy was promoting this kind of fanfic satire in a livestream, so I think I'm off the hook. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

"Dang it! I promised a meet-up with Teto today!" Maddy jumped out of bed after hearing a voicemail sent by Teto, they scrambled to their dresser, throwing on a black T-shirt with an image of Teto with the text "Gender is for the weak" in the impact font. They grabbed a plain white skirt and their iconic headphones, quickly threw on some sneakers without tying them, and rushed out the door. "Sh!t! My wallet!" Maddy sprinted back inside, swiftly yoinked up xeir wallet, and dashed back to race to the Café.

"Ms. Kasane, we can't keep waiting to take your order, other customers are waiting for this table," a waiter informed Teto, trying to hint at them their friend better get quick or that Teto would need to leave.  Teto and the waiter heard a bell ring, singling a customer had busted through the door. "I'M SORRY TETO THAT I'M LATE," Maddy yelled, "I'LL PAY FOR ALL THE DRINKS AND BREAD!" "Oh," the waiter sighed. "So, what would you guys like to order?"

Maddy is now settled down, sitting at a table with Teto, both waiting for their orders of [INSERT MADDY'S FAV CAFÉ DRINK I COULDN'T FIND EVIDENCE OF WHAT IT WOULD BE] and a baguette. "So... What made you so late?" Teto asked Maddy while adjusting herself in her seat. "Not being mean, just askin'." "I overslept," Maddy blatantly said, attempting to stay awake as the cushioned café seat comforted xer back asleep.

"Wait... Is the sleep deprivation creeping up onto me, or is that a lemon at that table?" "A lemon? Do you mean Lemon, as in Lemonberry?" "I'm serious! Look behind you! Though, don't make it obvious."

Teto turned her entire body around, ignoring Maddy's request to be stealthy. And there sat a lemon, roughly as tall as someone's lower leg, sitting at a table sipping on some coffee. The lemon turns around with a curious face, maybe it feels as if it's being watched because it was being watched. Teto twisted theirself around quickly enough to start a tornado, "You're not sleep-deprived. That lemon is real," Teto whispered to Maddy. "I can't tell if I should be happy that the lemon is real or not, but either way, I think I'll chat with it. A living lemon probably has many tales to tell," Maddy rambled, their head about to hit the table to sleep.

"How late were you up last night?" Teto asked Maddy, pushing xeir head back up to keep them from falling asleep, "Way too late," Maddy answered, shifting the position they were sitting in.

"Order number 92 for Angel!" A worker called out "Try me~!" Maddy and Teto whispered before Teto grabbed their drinks and bread. She sat back down, bringing the order back to the table, grabbing her first baguette to start tearing apart. "So, why are you so interested in a living lemon?" Teto asked Maddy with a full mouth of bread. "It's a living lemon! What's not interesting about a living lemon?" Maddie raspily responded, taking a sip of their drink, the drink making xem feel more awake. "I'm a bat-human-drill chimera, Lemonberry is an Onshi, God knows what the fVck Ritsu is, and you're shocked because of a LEMON?" Teto argued with Maddy, ripping another chunk off the baguette after finishing her statement.

"Ritsu is sure odd, but c'mon! A walking, talking, breathing FRUIT?" Maddy said back, their tone of voice more expressive from the caffeine. "Well- oh, what am I going on about," Teto's shoulders dropped, "If the lemon is still here once we're done chatting, you should chat with it, it does probably have tales to tell."

The lemon was still there. Teto left, winking to Maddy as she left. Now all Maddy had to do was convince herself to talk with the lemon... Which is quite a challenge. After lots of procrastinating (and trying to not get kicked out of the café) they walked up to the lemon.

"H- hel- 💭dang it💭 hello," Maddy studdered, struggling with normal human communication. "Hi?" The lemon questioned, making Maddy believe they just embarrassed themselves so hard. "Can you- Would you be...be internet- INterested in a chat?"