CW: thoughts/considerations of su*cide
Albus and Rose left the room. Y/N didn't even want to consider what kind of drama Rose could stir with this information. Y/N sat there, embarrassed, and a bit warm. It was as though she wanted to sweat, but couldn't-- and the warmth was getting to a point where it was bothering her.
Scorpius gave her a damp towel (having listened to her train of thought), and she pressed the towel against her face, the coolness prickling her skin and allowing for sensation.
"You can read it?" she asked through tears welled up in her eyes. "All of it?" she added as her voice cracked.
He nodded-- a look of guilt on his face.
"It's fine-- " she responded, "I don't even want to be here anyway--I don't want to be close to anyone because if they saw what went through my head they'd hate me-- damn-- because boy do I hate me--"
"But I've heard it and I don't hate you---"
"Well you should-- I'm a horrible person-- I hate-- I think the worst of people-- I -- I'm vain-- " she cried. She stood up, and Scorpius followed suit.
"Y/N-- it's okay to feel this way--to feel feelings-- but know it's not true-- you're not a bad person"
"Scorpius-- don't lie to me-- I contribute nothing to this world. I take up space. I waste space. I--I--I'm fucking better off dead" She said through sobs.
Her body, still weak, wanted to fall from the emotional exertion. Scorpius immediately grabbed onto her, as to stabilize her as she knelt to the ground. He said nothing-- he decided that now may not have been the time to talk through or logic through her thoughts. He just sat there, combing his fingers through her hair as she cried into his shoulder.
The two adjusted as Y/N grew tired and fell asleep on his lap.
Hours passed, and he found himself napping too, against the wall. He awoke to her voice.
"Why?"
He hummed in a way that suggested inquiry.
"I don't know how to ask this-- but--" she stood up, wiping her dried tears with both hands, looking at him with a playful, quizzical look "-- why are you here-- still? Why haven't I scared you off yet?"
He saw this as a sign that she was in a better mood, and matched her energy. "Uhm-- free entertainment-- the wifi here sucks"
Y/N playfully guffawed.
"I'm clutching my pearls right now"
Scorpius raised an eyebrow.
"But for real-- why?", her demeanor slightly more serious.
"I--I don't know. I think caring about someone-- like genuinely-- is something that isn't based in too much other than-- well -- it just being so. Kind of like a choiceless choice?"
"Well damn-- guess I was--"
"No-- no -- please no-- I didn't mean it in a way that made it like you were -- that I had no--"
"I'm just messing with you-- I think I get it. It's like that genuine -- uh oh-- get ready for a sensational word-- love-- that you feel for your friends that doesn't go away. It's not transactional. You kind of just make the decision that you care for them-- and will be there for them no matter what".
Scorpius and Y/N locked eyes. Y/N's cheeks, without warning, burned up and her heart began to race slightly.
"Y-yeah" Scorpius responded, having experienced a sudden nervousness and heart racing as well. "I-we should-- uhm-- food"
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On the Edge of Great (Fanfic)
FanficY/N, 17 F, had just finished reading Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, quite saddened at how this would have been her generation at Hogwarts. Of course, it doesn't help that she is also American, so Hogwarts, technically speaking, would just never...
