WHY THEY LEFT (#Wattys2015)

19. Back To The World I Know

Rosalie
Away From The Sun by 3 Doors Down

"This was actually really fun," I said lightly as I stared back at Jake on my front porch. The porch light illuminated his eyes and struck his face at all the perfect angles. If I was actually talented enough to paint, I would paint him right in this moment.

But as I looked at him, I was ready to search for his eyes. But why? The porch light was on. Then it struck me; the last time I was standing on a front porch in the dim light. I shook the thought from my mind at looked at his eyes, fighting the thoughts racing through my head.

"Yeah, I'm glad you came." Jakes voice bothered me sometimes. That classic, rich, preppy football captain voice that you found in every boy who fell in those categories. Danny's voice didn't bother me.

Stop thinking about that, I snapped at myself. Jake was beginning to lean down, approaching to kiss me but I twitched back slightly. I caught his gaze but I wasn't seeing his blue, icy eyes; I was seeing glittering brown eyes.

His sandy blonde hair was no longer what I saw; it was brown, almost black slightly wavy hair. My heat rate jumped, beats undoubtedly being skipped. He leaned in and I couldn't close my eyes. It's natural to close your eyes when you kiss, you lean in and go for it, eyes closed. But mine were wide.

I pulled back. I couldn't kiss him. I could only see Danny's face staring back at me. His angry yet passionate eyes, just as when I first met him, tearing at me. But it was all in my head.

"Rosalie?" Jake's voice penetrated my ears. I blinked my eyes and his face went back to normal. It was Jake standing confused in front of me- not Danny. "Rosalie, what's wrong?"

I rubbed my eyes. "Nothing's wrong," I said hurriedly. Shit, something's wrong, I whispered in my head. He leaned into kiss me again. I responded the same as last time: swallowing hard and pulling farther away.

His face went from love struck to confused enragement in a split second. He was mad? "Why won't you kiss me?" His voice was low but no volume could block out his tone of faint anger.

"Sorry, Danny. I didn't mean to..." My voice faltered, my eyes closed tightly. I cursed at my self. I took a deep breath in and held it, silently hoping I'd die before Jake opened his mouth.

"Who the fuck is Danny?" The way he spat Danny's name made my blood boil. I kept my composure despite my internal composure being melted away but the heat of my blood. "Who is he, Rosalie?" His eyes burned as he stared at me intensely.

I didn't know how to respond. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. Danny isn't anyone." For the first time, saying he wasn't anyone, it made me feel like a blatant liar.

"Wait, is it that jack ass who works at that shitty auto shop down town?" I hated the way he spoke when he was mad: mouth of a sailor and the patients of a spoiled five yearold.

I didn't want to admit it was him, but I had to respond. "Why would it matter either way? I said sorry so drop it," my voice was starting to raise. I forced the anger I felt down. This was Jake being brat, nothing more, I said to myself.

"It matters because you were thinking about him while you were here with me. I mean why Rosalie? Why would you be-" I cut him off.

"Because I'm in love with him!"

The rise and fall of my chest stopped, as did my heart and my ability to speak. I know he said something more; most likely a sentence composed of 3% normal words and the other 97% pure curse words. But I was more in shock of the words the fell from my own lips.

"What ever, Rosalie." He sighed with anger and turned on his heal, stalking away down the steps and to his car. I was petrified as he drove away.

I closed my eyes tightly. "You stupid idiot," I whispered aloud. There went the blanket of normalcy. It was gone. No going back to the world I know- correction: the world I knew.