My Professor

32. Second Thoughts

It wasn't long before I found myself in Theodore's bed again. We were laying side by side after a particularly thorough romp, cooling off and enjoying our quiet moment together.

"Huey knows about us," I blurted out, breaking the peaceful silence.

"What?" Theodore asked incredulously. He rolled over to look at me.

"I didn't tell him, I swear. He figured it out," I explained.

"How'd he figure it out?" he asked.

"He said you were giving me goo goo eyes when I checked you out last time."

"I wasn't giving you goo goo eyes," Theodore replied, somewhat defensively.

"That's just what he was saying," I said. "I kept denying it but it got out. Anyway, I got him to swear not to mention it to anyone."

"Do you believe him?"

"Yeah, I do."

Theodore sighed and fell back onto his back. I looked over at him, concerned.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"No one was supposed to find out."

"I know. I swear he'll keep his mouth shut, though."

"I worry this is all getting out of hand."

"Don't say that, Theo," I said. "Please don't say that."

He looked over at me. "If Huey could figure it out then anyone else could."

"That's not true. Huey is smarter than he looks."

"Still, I'm not sure if this is such a good idea."

"This as in us?"

"It might be wise to pause this until the end of the semester."

"I think that's a horrible idea," I said.

"It's only four months away."

"Four months!" I exclaimed. "That's forever."

"Hardly," Theodore said. "It wouldn't be easy, but it would be the safest thing to do."

"Please don't do this, Theo," I pled.

"I'm just thinking out loud."

I stared at the ceiling, dejected. It was already a pain only seeing Theodore on certain week nights and the weekend. I didn't know how I'd cope if he cut me off altogether, even if it was temporary.

"I guess I can't stop you," I said, trying to keep my voice devoid of emotion. "If that's what you really want."

"It's not what I want, Indy," he said, rolling over to look down at me again. "You know that isn't what I want."

"I don't want to be away from you," I said. Horribly, my eyes welled up with tears.

"Don't cry," he said, caressing the side of my face.

"I'm sorry," I said, wiping my eyes. I felt another wave of tears come on.

"You don't have to apologize," he said, running his hand through my hair. "I was simply looking at the bigger picture and considering our options."

"I like the way things are now."

"I do, too. But, we need to be more careful."

"Okay," I said, wiping my eyes again.

"No more crying," Theodore said with a soft smile.

"Okay." I gave him a water smile and hoped more than anything that he wouldn't change his mind.

* * *

"He almost broke up with me because of you."

I was at the bookstore with Huey on another evening shift, working on inventory.

"What do you mean? Ol' Callahan?" he asked.

"Don't call him that," I said. "And, yeah. I told him you figured us out and he almost broke things off."

"What happened to you two being so serious?"

"We are, but he was considering putting off our relationship until after I graduate in May."

"So, he wasn't going to break up with you. He was just being a mature adult and trying to cover his own ass."

"Would you please have some sympathy?" I asked. "Things are still shaky. I can feel it. I keep thinking he's going to change his mind at any moment."

"I think he should," Huey said. "He shouldn't be seeing you in the first place. Waiting until the spring would be the most responsible thing to do."

"Well, I don't want to be responsible," I frowned.

"Yeah, but this isn't just about you."

"Shut up, Huey. Stop making sense."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean, what am I going to do?"

"Are you going to tell Callahan that you think you should put things off, too?"

"Absolutely not."

"Indy," Huey said, sounding disappointed.

"Look, it's my relationship. Everything is fine. If Theodore decides he wants to take a break then that's that, but I'm not going to instigate it."

"Alright," Huey said. "I'm just trying to help."

"It's only four months," I said. "Really, three and a half. We'll be fine for three and a half months."

"Are you trying to convince me of that, or yourself?" he asked.

I gave Huey a look, annoyed.

"Alright, alright," Huey said, putting his hands up. "It's up to you."

"Thank you," I said, flattening a box I'd just emptied.

"Are you going to do anything to sway him in your direction?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I need to do a better job at avoiding him on campus. I should stop stopping by his office. It's starting to piss off his TA."

"Yeah, that would be a good start. What about his TA?"

"I swear to god, she's in love with him," I said, gritting my teeth. "It's awful. Anytime she sees us together she gets this weird attitude with me. Super condescending."

"Do you think she's suspicious of you two?"

"No," I said truthfully. "I think she just wants him all to herself. I'd be a threat to her even if all I did was breathe in Theodore's general direction. He's nice to me and she hates it."

"He seems like the kind of person who's nice to everyone. He's always been pleasant with me," Huey said.

"He is, but that doesn't stop her from being awful," I said. "She's a senior, thank god, so she'll be out of our hair at the end of the school year."

Huey laughed. "What if she tries to propose to him at the graduation ceremony?"

"God, I think I'd die from embarrassment just watching it."

"Yeah, I think I'd have to scratch my eyeballs out and I don't even know the woman."

"Awful. But she would deserve the rejection. She needs to be humbled."

"You never know," Huey said. "The universe works in mysterious ways."