My Professor

17. Reassureance

When we went back to the Italian restaurant we ended up at same table for two in the corner and everything. We didn't spend much time avoiding the subject that brought us there. I was dying to know what this all meant for us. Dinner, the kiss; Were we official or not?

"What area are we doing, Theodore?" I asked, cutting to the chase. He'd begun to prattle on about work, and as much as I wanted to sit there and listen to him talk, I needed answers.

"We're having dinner," he said, choosing to state the obvious.

"I know, but I'm your student and we kissed again - a lot," I said, being blunt. "What are we doing?"

Theodore studied the rim of his glass for a moment, mulling over what I'd asked him. "I don't want to stay away from you, Indigo."

"Then don't," I said eagerly. "I want to be with you, too."

"We should wait..."

"But, we aren't, are we?" I asked, finally saying it out loud.

"No," Theodore said quietly. "We're not."

"Good." I was relieved that he'd relented. "So, we're exclusive now?"

"I don't want to be away from you," he reiterated. "I don't think I can bare it."

I blushed. "We didn't last very long while trying to be good."

"No, we didn't," Theodore chuckled.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked.

"Yes. I'm aware of the repercussions should this get out," he assured me. "But, I'm willing to take the risk."

"Good," I smiled.

"What about you?" he asked me. "Are you sure?"

"Like I said, I have less to lose."

"Still."

"I'm sure I want this," I told him. "I've never been so sure of something in my life."

Theodore smiled.

"I won't tell anyone about us," I promised.

"I know. I trust you."

"I just...won't stop by your office too much," I smiled.

"No kissing in my office — it's too risky," he added.

"You probably shouldn't stop your car by my apartment, either,  just in case there's a chance someone on campus recognizes you or your car."

"That's a good idea," Theodore said. "And it might be good to spend more time out of town. Not too far off, but it couldn't hurt."

"Right," I nodded. The more we discussed it, the more normal it all seemed. We could make it through one measly school year. We just had to keep a low profile until May.

"No one can know about us," Theodore said, though it seemed like he was more reassuring himself.

"Of course," I agreed. "This is strictly between us. No exceptions."

"Enough being so serious," he insisted. "We've hashed this out enough."

"Sure," I said, smiling across the table at my newfound boyfriend.

Boyfriend. It didn't feel like the right word to use, our connection felt so much more serious than that, but it was the best we could do at the time.

"Tell me about your writing," he said. "If you're willing."

"Oh, well," I blushed. "I still haven't made much progress, but it's going well, I guess."

"What do you like to write about?"

"I'm torn between genres to be honest. I don't know if I want to write romance or horror."

"That's quite a difference," he chuckled.

"Yeah, it's a tough decision."

"Maybe you don't have to choose. Couldn't you do both?"

"I guess, but I don't know where to start. I'm still trying to drum up a concept that's worth expanding on."

"The true plight of an artist," Theodore said. "What a tortured soul you are."

"Tell me about it," I laughed. "I'll figure it out eventually. I'm more focused on keeping my grades up. It's my last year and I don't want to mess up my GPA now."

"True, but it's healthy to make room for your passions, as well."

"I've been making plenty of room for you," I teased.

"I meant hobbies," he chuckled.

"I'm a little busy for hobbies right now," I said. "Not that I mind."

"Should I give you more room for your work?" he asked.

"Don't you dare," I retorted. "Not in a thousand years."

For a moment I worried if I was getting too intense, but Theodore continued to smile, unbothered.

"I'm glad you don't think I'm being too much," I confessed, embarrassed by what began as essentially a schoolgirl crush.

"Of course not," he replied. "You're perfect."

I blushed a deeper shade of pink.

The waiter interrupted us at that moment to take our drink order. Keyed up from the big update in our relationship, I ordered a glass of wine. I may have been dating my professor but at least I was old enough to order a drink.

Theodore did the same and the waiter left.

"Have you been reading the books you got from the bookstore?" I asked him.

"I started one, but I've been slow to read lately. So far it's pretty good."

"I'm glad. I didn't have to give you bad recommendations," I said. "Though, I have to say, you seemed to have really irritated my coworker."

"Really? Why?"

"I don't know. I think he might have a bit of a crush on me," I admitted.

Theodore laughed. "I can't blame him for that."

"I denied everything, of course. He was overreacting. He would've acted that way no matter who it was. He's just weird like that."

"As long as he doesn't steal your adore from me."

"No! Of course not." The idea of being romantically involved in Huey was...unthinkable. He was a good guy, nice and funny, but I'd never seen him in that light. He just wasn't my type.

"Poor guy," Theodore said.

"He'll live," I said. "There's plenty of fish in the sea."

"True," he replied. "Though I hope you never leave me out at sea like that."

I laughed. "You sound insecure."

"No, but this is new. I'm sure you could understand why I'd be a little..."

"Insecure."

"Sure, for lack of a better word."

"You worry too much," I poked. "I'm not going anywhere. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."