MINE!!!

Realization!!!

NO! The answer is no. I realized that my feelings go way deeper than I originally thought. I just didn't worry about her when she was missing because I was guilty but because I care for her, more than I thought I did.

I like her! Realization hit me hard but I am done with constantly questioning my feelings for her and then denying them. I like her a lot and not just because she's changed and has become so sexy because she was always beautiful. Really? Yup really, or else why would I have been jealous when she talked to that Nathan guy.
Jealous? Yes jealous, I realized that what I felt that day when I saw both of them together was nothing else but jealousy. How else would I explain that pained feeling I felt seeing both of them together.

But she said that she will stop bugging me from now on. How could she say that? She always loved me and for past two years she didn't leave a single chance of showing it to me so why now? No! I won't let it happen. She can't just stop loving me. I won't let her.

You have always hurt her with your ignorance of her love for you, so why do you feel so bad when she's doing the same? I admit I ignored her but now when I do know how I feel about her, I can't just give up. No! Not happening. She waited for me for two years and now it's my turn to do the same.

With new found determination, I made my way inside the school. I directly went to my locker to get my books out when I saw her. Her back was facing me and she was standing quite far from me removing her books from her locker but then to I could still make out her curves. Damn! She's hot!

I saw many boys gawking at her and my jaw clenched and my fists tightened at my sides. Some of the boys even tried to approach her but she didn't pay any attention to them. Then she turned and was coming my way. I was about to stop and talk to her but she walked right past me without even giving me a glance. I stood rooted to my place.

Before she used to make me feel as if I am the most important person of her life but now she treats me like I am some invisible person. And it fucking hurts to be honest. Now I understand how she felt for those two years when I used to literally brush her off as if she is some kind of dirt. It's true then- Karma is really a bitch.

Sighing I made my way to my class. Suddenly I realized that I have this class with Isabelle and my lips curved up in a small smile. I entered the class and my smile dropped seeing her sitting next to Nathan and they both were talking and laughing. I saw the seat next to her right empty and went and sat next to her. She didn't even look up when I sat.

I was getting more and more irritated by her lack of response. A cheerleader came by my side and I thought if I try to make her jealous then maybe she will react somehow. So I did what I thought was right and started flirting with the cheerleader and she giggled flirtatiously. I looked from the corner of my eyes to see Isabelle's reaction and when I saw that she was still intently talking to Nathan and wasn't even paying attention to me I dropped my act and told the cheerleader to get the hell out of my face.

During whole lecture I was looking at her and I knew she could feel my burning gaze on her but damn, that girl was strong and stubborn, she didn't even tried to look at me. When the class ended, once again I was about to open my mouth and say something to her when she stood up and walked out with him.

I have to do better than this!!
I made my way out and saw one of my friends hitting on her and my blood boiled. By the looks of it, I think he didn't realize that he's hitting on none other than Isabelle- the girl who he used to make fun of. Now when I realize what my friends used to do I also realized one thing that I never did anything to stop them so indirectly I was also a bully and more and more guilt pooled inside me.

I fucking screwed up big time! Thinking of things I said to her or I did to her for two years made me disgusted by myself. I was so bad to her but then to she always looked at me like I am the most precious thing on the world and what I did? I broke her heart in return.

The saying is true- you don't realize the value of something or someone until it is taken away from you. But I am not giving up. I am gonna go after her. I am gonna make up for my past two years mistakes and then I am gonna make her fucking MINE!