Disappearace 2

6

Funeral. A casket without a body. It felt unreal. Even if he somewhat had accepted that Louis was no longer with them a funeral made it crystal clear.

Nick had offered to attend the funeral with him but Harry had declined. It felt weird to bring a "date" to Louis' funeral and he had no idea how he would react. He didn't want Nick to witness that and he also didn't wanna feel forced to hold back. 

He arrived early and immediately walked over to Louis' family and hugged them all. Fizzy was in bad shape. It worried him. They lost their mum not long ago and now they were holding a funeral for their brother. The family has lost so much.

To his surprise, all of his old bandmates showed up. He hugged them all. Zayn looked a little shy at first, probably wondering if he would scold him for leaving early but Harry had let go of any hard feelings he might have had. He knew his reaction back then was fueled by the loss of Louis. He hadn't been in his right state of mind.

It was a sad funeral. Harry cried and cried. A funeral made it final. He would never see Louis again. He tried to remember the last conversation they had but drew blank. Except for the sleepy I love you's before they fell asleep that night he couldn't remember what they talked about before that. Nothing significant. Nothing that hinted that Louis was about to end his life. How could he have missed the signs? If Louis had been suicidal he should have known! Clearly, he didn't know him as well as he thought he did.

When it was time to go up to the coffin for a last farewell his legs were shaking. Niall put an arm around his back to steady him. They walked up together, he, Niall, Liam, and Zayn. Harry was at a loss for words. Niall put a rose on the casket first.
"Farrell dear friend. I will miss you."

Harry couldn't hold back his tears. He looked at the picture of a smiling Louis and whispered "I will always love you but I'm letting you go now. I hope you found peace."

He placed a single rose on top and headed back to his bench. The memorial was held at the building next door. Zayn sat next to him and leaned in.
"I need a drink after this. Wanna join me?"

"Sure." Harry agreed.

Zayn smiled and turned to Niall on his left and asked him as well. Niall agreed too and asked Liam to join them.

Harry made sure to hug Louis' siblings before they took off. They found a pub on Silver Street and ordered beers except for Liam who got a soft drink. They hadn't been together all four of them since Zayn left the band.
"You're sober?" Harry asked and tilted his head in the direction of Liam's glass.

"Yeah. I went to rehab." Liam replied.

"That's great!" Harry smiled.

"We're proud of you!" Niall chipped in.

"Thanks." Liam beamed.

"It's weird right? I expect to hear Louis' voice. You know, shouting Oii! or something. He was always loud." Zayn commented.

"Yeah." Niall sighed.

"Guys, did any of you suspect that he was suicidal? I mean, did he say anything?" Harry had to ask.

"No, not a word, but you know how those things are. If they have decided they don't usually say anything. At least that's what I've read." Liam answered.

"Yeah, I guess. Did you suspect it?" Harry asked.

"Don't you think we would have said something in that case? Tried to get him some help before it was too late? I'm sorry, Harry. I know this is horrendous, especially for you." Niall answered.  

"Yeah." Harry sighed and emptied his beer. He got up to order a new one. He was getting wasted tonight.

For the rest of the night, they talked about everything but Louis. Early morning Niall dropped Harry off at his house and helped him inside.
"I don't want to live here anymore." Harry slurred.

"You have loads of other places, Harry." Niall said.

"They all remind me of Louis." Harry muttered.

"Sell them then." Niall shrugged and helped him to bed. Harry had succeeded in his goal. He was really drunk.

"I can't. They all remind me of Louis." Harry mumbled and closed his eyes.

Niall watched him with a worried frown. He didn't think Harry would ever get over the loss.
"I'll take the guestroom. Get some sleep."

Harry was already passed out. Niall headed to one of the guest rooms. He remembered when Harry and Louis bought this house in Hampstead Heat.  It was a gated community and they had discussed the possibility of having kids in the future even as young as they were. He would never understand why Louis decided to end his life. Their contract was almost up. They were almost free.

Why hadn't they found his body? There was so much that didn't make sense. He had left his wallet in the hotel room. There wasn't a single taxi driver who could remember giving him a ride somewhere. If he had been on foot he hadn't made it out of the city and if he had killed himself in town, someone would have found his body. Not to mention that he hadn't been spotted on a security camera in the hotel or any traffic camera in the city.

Something wasn't adding up. He couldn't have been kidnapped either because firstly Harry would have woken up and secondly, no sightings on camera. A big city like Sydney had loads of them. Outside banks, shops, and so on. Louis' disappearance was a mystery but Niall kept his thoughts to himself. Harry had been hurt enough.