The Hunger Games: To Wath Them Die

Chapter 21

The elevator seemed to move faster then I wanted. THe number 7 glowed on the board of numbers. I tapped my foot anxious to see what was to great me. The doors let out a ding as a glass was thrown next to the door.

"I need to talk to her Jo, why can no one see that!?"

"Paul, you can't talk to her like this. This is not a good..."

I stepped out making the two look at me.

"Not a good time?"

Jo motioned to the brown liquid running down the wall while Paul's eyes softened and looked almost ashamed to what I just walked in on. I walked to the liquid touching it lightly with my finger tips. I brought it to my nose getting a heavy wift of Burbon. I looked at the two waiting for an explanation.

"I only had a sip..."

I looked at Paul then Johanna.

"One sip, and he get's that angry that quick. Good to know. You know another thing I had to find out from someone else. You had a drinking problem after your games. When did you stop drinking?"

Paul sat down running his hand through his hair tugging at the ends lightly making his dark locks into a matted mess.

"Maybe a few months after Finn one his games. It wasn't easy because Alchol was the only thing that would allow me to forget but it came with a price."

"Obviously. I just watched you throw a glass of alcohol at a wall. I only thought you did that to alarm clocks when they annoyed us."

He smiled lightly.

"I throw a lot of things when I am drunk and angry."

I approach him making a point to sit across from him.

"Are you drunk now?"

Jo looked at the older man then back at me as he didn't answer.

"No, I was trying to take the glass when the elevator rang making him throw it so he could make the point he could go see you. He had a sip but not much more than that."

I nod and look back at the red rimmed, blue eyed man I loved.

"Senica did plan to use me for his own pleasure to get to Snow. I threatened him and pointed out the flaw in his plan making him realize his mistake. He had the limo turn around after that. I made sure he knew I would kill him if he did something to my brother. Then I got out. He didn't do anything. I didn't even accept the drink he offered which I guarantee he drugged so I would be easier to control. I didn't want to admit what happened because someone found a loop hole in my protection and that is scary. I know you were scared but I was terrified. Then you got mad at me because I didn't want to deal with these emotions. You drowned your anger in drinks, making you more angry meaning I never got a chance to explain anything before you went well you know..."

The man nodded his head.

"I never told you about my problems because they are the darkest parts of me. I didn't want you to know I wasn't a virgin and pure like you when we both agreed to wait until mariage. I then didn't want to tell you why I always refused a drink because I didn't want to admit I had a problem."

I looked at him.

"Did you know I used morphling when I got out of the games. I was quite addicted to it for a few years. Not even Jo or Finn knew. Mitch and those from my home district knew because they have seen the effects from the Morphlings from 5 when they abused it. I used to numb the pain and the constant PTSD attacks I would get. I would loose my self everytime and everytime I would come back from the attacks I would have more blood on my hands then what I started with. I killed three people in the district when I returned. I have a higher kill count then what is known among the victors. The only people that know are the people that helped me cover up the murders."