On the track of my mind (M.V)

Part 22 // "Hey."

Jules

"How did testing go?" Simon asked me as he held my feet while I did situps. I looked at him confused. "You didn't watch?" I asked him. He answered with rolling eyes. "I did, but how do you feel about it?" he rephrased. "I think it went alright." I simply said, but it didn't go 'alright'.

My times were terrible and I was one of the worst on the track today. I've had everyone on my back since it happened and I was just sick of it. Can't a person just have a bad day in peace? 

"Just tell me. What's bothering you?" he ask me assuring. I stopped my situps while looking him in the eyes. "Are you my therapist or something?" I asked him. He got up and pulled me with him. "I can tell something isn't right. And I have a feeling it has to do with Verstappen. But who am I to judge?" he said. I narrowed my eyes at him. Indeed, who was he to judge?

"You're supposed to physically train me, not mentally. Verstappen does bother me, but he has for a long time now and it's no excuse for driving like shit." I firmly said hoping Simon would let it be. But he didn't.

"I think you're both very blind." he suddenly said. "What do you mean?" I asked him. He chuckled. "He clearly loves picking on you and when he does there's a spark in his eyes of which I'm sure is because of you." he started. "What? Look-" I tried to say but he went on. "Whenever you're around him your face is red. Is it because you really hate him?" he continued. "Obviously." I said. "Or because you like him but you're too scared to admit it, even to yourself." he finished. I sighed and walked away from him. 

"Let it be. It's not for you to worry about." I told him. "It is when it's affecting your performance like that." he said. "And most importantly, I care about you. You're the strongest person I've ever worked with and I know you can do better. I hate to see you like this because of some guy." he followed. I looked back at him. He smiled and left the gym. 

I sat down on the bench press and closed my eyes while holding my head in my hands. I tried to not like Max anymore. But no one made it easy for me. He was everywhere. Even when I'm supposed to focus and train, he's in my head. And because I knew he didn't have that problem with me, it affected my performance. It even affected my sleep, wasn't that something to worry about?

I thought about what Simon said. Did Max have a spark in his eyes when talking to me? Was it his version of my flushed cheeks? Maybe he did like me, or I was going crazy. Pretty sure it was the latter. Whenever he was nice, it was when he was drunk. He only did the things I wanted him to do when he wasn't quite himself or when he was forced to do it. 

And having a crush on the world champion, who was bassically my collegue, was the worst thing I could've imagined for my rookie year.

...

Max

"It's not bad." Daniel tried to assure me. I stared at the ceiling with him while laying down in his hotel room. "It is." I said. He nudged me with his shoulder and turned my way. "You're telling me that you're this upset about being 8th during free practise." he asked me with arched brows. "I'm simply dissapointed, there was no reason for me to do this bad." I explained.

I knew why I wasn't focusing on the road, atleast not as I used to. Acting like I didn't like Jules was harder than I intended and she was constantly on my mind. I was so mad at her for it. It affected my driving and I swore to never let anyone affect my skills, especially a girl. Well, Jules wasn't a girl. She was a woman. Well, she was way more than that too actually. She was-

"Max." Daniel said loudly.

This was what I meant. My thoughts lead from one to another until I'm in some sort of trance.