On the track of my mind (M.V)

Part 23 // "So beautiful."

Jules

"You know what would happen?" I asked staring at my computer screen. Facetiming with Sophia and Bianca was what I did whenever anything bothered me. "I'd be humiliated and canceled by the whole f1 community." I answered my own question. "I could get fired." I added. "I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad." Bianca told me assuring, but Sophia seemed hesitant.

"I don't know Jules." she started. "Falling in love with Max just brings a lot of trouble." she went on. "I know what you mean, but I'm definitely not in love." I said seriously. I just liked him, love was such an important thing to me. Not just an emotion that comes and goes easily. But I knew that if Max kept acting this nice to me. The liking would soon turn into loving, even if I tried to stop it. 

"I wouldn't tell him." Sophia said quietly. "Jules, I would tell him. But that's my choice and I think you should think about what you really feel." Bianca told me with a smile. I smiled back. I knew that Sophia just wanted to protect me. "Obviously, you have to listen to yourself." Sophia said smiling. 

I didn't know a lot about love, but I knew I loved those girls. They were always there for me and I couldn't imagine how hard it would've been to join f1 without them.

"So, what are you gonna do?" Bianca asked curious. "I'm going to the roof." I answered. They looked at me a little confused but after a little more gossip we hung up and I left my room, got up to the roof and watched the skyline.

And I just hoped he would read my message and come up too. 

...

Max

I blinked at my phone a few times to realize what I had just read. 

'Meet me on the roof.'

'please'

I knew I asked her, but this way it sounded like she did and I felt the room getting hotter as I thought about that.

Quickly I ran up the stairs up to the roof. I opened the door and was greeted by a cold breeze. It was already dark outside but I could still make out her silhouette standing by the edge of the roof. Luckily there was a wall just before her where she leaned on. I walked closer, scared to make a noise. As if she was an animal in the zoo I wanted to admire. I meant it in a less weird way than it sounded.

Once I reached her she looked at me from over her shoulder. Her eyes seemed to shine even though it was dark outside and there was only a small, yellow light above the door that had to lighten up the whole roof. She didn't smile at me nor did she look sad, angry, confused. It looked like she had lost all her emotions and was just staring at me as if she tried to understand me better. We didn't say anything, but I thought our eyes said enough. 

She looked back to the front and admired the dark city being lightened by cars, houses and appartements. The moon was clear in view and it reminded me of her. Shining in the dark. 

"It's beautiful isn't it?" she asked, still looking forward. 

"So beautiful." I answered, still looking at her.

I wanted to ask her why she asked me to come. But I didn't want to break this magical feeling. To break the silence with such words that had no value. I wanted to tell her something that mattered. But, I was too scared. I was scared for my job, my performance. The things people would say online if they found out. But most importantly, I was scared for her. What they would say about her. If they would say even worse things than they already did. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, make this moment die.