Survival of the Loneliest

It's My Life

"If you lot want me to stay lying here you'd better give me my laptop or something, I'm so fucking bored and I want to get up. I could be continuing my research you know, I was near a breakthrough before all this shit happened. I won't move much and it will give me something to focus on instead of the bloody pain please."

You had been sleeping on and off and healing for the most of the last couple of weeks. Now, however you were bored. You just wanted to do something constructive and get out of your own head for a bit. Even though you knew that Henry was gone, you still had terrible nightmares as well as daymares about him and what he'd done to you. Today it was the turn of Big Red to keep you company, the other two cores in their frames and off fighting some damn Skibs as they had started attacking in force again, Bayer was getting the hangar upgrades sorted yet again and Lumin was off researching something to see if he could help you heal your wounds a bit faster as there was so many.

Big Red just looked at you. You know what Lumin said to me. I really don't want to get yelled at again, not after last time.

"I think I know my own limits, having my laptop on the bed here with me won't harm anything. I wouldn't be moving and I can do stuff that's useful, please Red."

I dunno, Lumin said he wanted you to completely relax and working on your laptop isn't relaxing.

"Red, remember how you felt after you got freed from the Skib parasite? You went on a rampage right? To forget what that parasite did while it was in your body?"

You promised not to ever bring that up again if you could help it.

"I'm sorry but this is similar. Lying here doing nothing is making me remember everything that damn TV unit did to me, I need to be doing something to forget. I wish you'd all understand. Look into my mind if you need to confirm it, go on."

Fine but I want to see everything, don't throw those walls up like you usually do. If I see a wall I won't let you do anything.

"Fine, fine, just look then."

With that Big Red initiates the Mind Share with you. He could see everything you were saying was true and just how badly it was still affecting you, it hadn't been all that long ago after all. Just as he thought to himself he'd leave, he spotted something lurking deeper so he dived further to see what it was. He saw a lot of things that none of them had realised was going around in your head. Some good, a lot bad. The worst thing to him however was the fact you were still so scared of what had happened when you'd gotten Blue to let you hear that damn voice, he thought you were over that with how you acted but obviously not. Breaking off the link, he looked at you sadly.

I do wish I could do something to erase all those bad memories in your mind Vex. You have so many in there.

"I'm fine, I've got you guys haven't I?"

You're not fine and we both know it, but I won't say anything to the others for now. I can tell you don't want to worry anyone but now I know, you can talk to me about it if you want to or need to. Let me give you some cuddles first then I'll get your laptop ok?

Big Red cuddles up to your chest and reaches his face up to give you some little soft kisses to try and comfort you. After a little time like this he moves across the room and carefully balances your laptop on his head and carries it over to you, once you take it he climbs back onto the bed with you and snuggles up against your side as you have the laptop in, well, your lap.

A couple of hours later Lumin comes in with some food for you. Instantly you can smell it's not right, something has gone rancid.

"Lumi, get rid of that as soon as you can, it's no good and stinks horribly. The meat's too old to be used now, I need to go hunting or check the fishing traps or something."