Beauty and the Priest - A Nekrolina x Pope Francis Fanfic

Beauty and the Priest

It's a cool winter evening as I stand outside the restaurant. Waiting outside isn't much fun, but I had to make sure I was here early. My hands keep themselves occupied by playing with the strap of my purse as the time for my date draws nearer and nearer. I jump a little as a buzz comes from my purse. I reach in to find a notification on my phone for a new text message:

[Pope Francis: omw, be there in 2 minutes 🙏✝️]

My eyes remain glued to the screen for a good 30 seconds. I'm still in disbelief that I actually managed to score a date with THE Pope Francis. I thought for sure my tweet at him would fly under the radar. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw him slide into my Twitter DMs later that night with: "hey... u up?"

Putting my phone back in my purse I do a last minute check on my outfit to make sure I'm dressed conservatively enough for him. Long black skirt with floral print only women over 50 would wear? Check. Black Sunday-School shoes and white pantyhose hidden underneath the old lady skirt? Check. Loose fitting lavender sweater to hide these sinful breasts which tempt mortal men? Check. Finally, I take out my makeup mirror for a look at my face. And of course: hair worn down straight, and enough makeup to avoid people asking if I'm sick but not enough to be called a whore? Check aaaand check. Perfect! Not a single attractive feature to be found! There's no way he'll think I'm some lecherous heathen in this get-up.

I confidently snap the clamshell mirror shut. As I'm putting it back in my purse I hear a bit of commotion coming from up the street. Peering in that direction, butterflies immediately fill my stomach at what I see. It's Pope Francis being driven towards me in his Popemobile at a cool 5 mph! He raises his hand to wave at a handful of onlookers who are following the vehicle and screaming out his name like he's a rockstar.

I straighten my posture and politely wait in place. A few of his guards get out of the vehicle to keep the onlookers at bay, and very gradually the Popemobile pulls up to the curb in front of me. Looking up at the back of the car, I can already see The Pope in his throne with a gentle smile on his face and his hand raised in greeting. The chauffeur gets out of the driver's seat and escorts Pope Francis from the back of the vehicle; finally bringing me face to face with my date.

His holiness stands before me in a white and gold flannel with the sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscular forearms. The top two buttons of the flannel are left undone, showing off a generous tuft of white chest hair. The shirt is tucked into a pair of washed out blue jeans which are fastened with a brown leather belt. On his feet are yellow flip-flops which look like they were purchased from a dollar store. And of course, adorned on his head is his classic Pope mitre.

He approaches me with a smile saying: "Aaah! Ciao, Nekrolina! Ciao!" He puts his hands on my shoulders and greets me a kiss on my right cheek then my left. Having him so close, my nose is immediately filled with the faint smell of incense and bible paper. These mortal greetings are WAY more intimate than what we do in the underworld.

"Ahaha- Ciao!" I manage to squeeze out.

"It is so good to finally meet you, Ms. Lina!" The Pope says excitedly.

"Y-yeah! You too!"

Pope Francis gives me a quick look up and down. "Your outfit is very pretty, Ms. Lina. Although it seems a bit different than what I thought you typically wear?"

"Oh, this? Haha. No no no! I wear clothes like this all the time off stream." I say to him, knowing damn well this is the first time in 3 months I've left the house without displaying at least 35% cleavage visibility. "Anyways! What about your outfit? I don't know that I've ever seen you without your robes on."