accismus, a form of irony in which a person feigns indifference to or pretends to refuse something he or she desires.
Molly Emerson is taking a gap year after highschool to figure out what she wants to do in the future. She starts working at a baker...
When I wake up, my head hurts so fucking bad, as if someone is squeezing my skull. I move a little in my bed and the sun hits me straight in the eyes, making me groan annoyed. I rub my eyes a little and feel my really dried up mascara. Fuck, I slept with makeup on.
When I get up from bed, I get so dizzy that I fall back in it, realizing in that moment that I slept in the top I wore last night, but somehow got rid of my skirt throughout the night.
My mouth feels so dry and sore and I reach for the glass of water that I have on my nightstand, downing it. How much have I drank last night?
Sitting at the edge of the bed, I open my phone to see a few messages from Cassandra and Elliot.
cass: you were so drunk last night
cass: pls text me when u wake up
cass: so i know you're fucking alive
I text her back, dragging a hand over my face in embarrassment. God knows what I did last night, I'm scared to hear about it.
me: barely alive, to be honest
I open the texts from Elliot and my heart drops to my stomach when I see them.
elliot: yeah, you're right. accismus or whatever..
elliot: i arrived home rn
elliot: you probably fell asleep
elliot: or at least i hope so. hope you're not ignoring me
elliot: i'm sorry for tonight. i'm still here for you
elliot: fuck, molly, i can't sleep because of what you did
What did I do to make him unable to sleep? Also, accismus? In what fucking context have I told him that? I'm so embarrassed right now, I wish I could crawl in a hole and die.
me: morning
me: i fell asleep in an instant, sorry
I text back and then throw my phone in the bed. I sigh loudly and get up again, this time not getting dizzy, thankfully. I make my way to the bathroom and throw all my clothes in the laundry basket. I take my makeup off, then wash my face with a cleanser. I take out my hair that was in a spiky bun and brush it really well before jumping in the shower to make myself feel less disgusting.
If this is the aftermath of drinking, now I really can't understand why people do it so much.
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After I blow dry my hair, I get dressed in some comfy clothes, take my phone and go downstairs to get something to eat. I check my phone to see if Elliot texted back, and sadly, he did.
