The Paths We Choose

Chapter 15 (pov lisa)

Tonight is the big bonfire celebration we have every year for the football team. Deciding if I should go or not is hard. It's not technically a party but it's the same concept beers, guys, and music all things I'm trying to move past

The parties I went to because of my mother's death. Caused more harm than good. maybe, just maybe, this time could be different. Maybe this bonfire could mark a new chapter, a chance to leave the darkness behind and embrace the light of healing.

My phone began to ring as I looked over on the table I saw Liana and Natalia's name pop up on the screen it was Group FaceTime. I answered the phone and plopped on my bed the weight of the decision still heavy on my mind. "Hey, guys," I said, trying to sound casual. "What's up?" Their cheerful voices filled the screen, momentarily distracting me from my internal struggle. As they chattered about the bonfire and who was going, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of longing to join in, to be a part of something normal for once. But deep down, I knew this decision was mine alone to make.

  "Yeah, that all sounds like fun, but I don't think I can go," I said, feeling the excuses becoming more effortless. Maneuvering through fun teenage activities felt more like navigating obstacles. Liana seemed to sense my sudden uncertainty.

   "Well, if you don't go, I won't either," Liana said, once again holding herself back for my sake.

Then Natalie chimed in, "My younger sister is going, and my mom wants me to watch her. That's my mom now; I need to go. Bye, guys," she said, rolling her eyes. Oh, how I wished I could roll my eyes at my own overbearing mother.

After Natalie left the call, it was just Liana and me. "I know why you don't want to attend. I understand your history with parties more than anyone. But eventually, I want you to live your life the way you deserve. If this is too early for you, then I understand and will stay home with you. But if you go, I will be by your side the whole time, and who knows, maybe you'll enjoy yourself." So, that's why she was quiet during the call.

  To be honest, I was still unsure, but how could I truly leave something in the past if I was still scared of it? "I will go for a little bit," I finally conceded. Seeing how proud Liana looked made me feel a lot happier about my decision. "Okay, I'm going to go. Love you," I finished the call with, "I love you too." Lianas the only person I've ever said that too.

  I began working on my physics homework. I pulled out my notebook and my pens, but feeling I was missing something I played some music on my laptop. During school I sometimes don't do my work so it gives me something to keep me in my bedroom instead of attempting conversation with my father.

As I continued my music and studies, I noticed it was 7:27. The bonfire started at 7, meaning it was finally time to get ready. Glancing at my comfy bed and freshly cleaned sheets, I felt a pang of regret. I could just stay in the comfort of my own room.

Reluctantly, I walked over to my closet and started going through the racks of clothing, trying to decide what to wear. Just then, I heard the doorbell ring. I had a feeling I knew who it was, but since I knew my father wouldn't leave his room to open it, I grabbed my phone and texted Liana to come in.

A few minutes later, Liana entered my room. "Holy shit, you look so good, Liana," I exclaimed. Her makeup was on point, as always, and she wore a short blue dress that matched our school colors. "And you haven't even started getting ready," Liana said, slightly annoyed. "Don't worry, I expected just as much." She plopped a bag on my bed and pulled out makeup along with a blue corset tube top and skirt.

"I love it."

We got ready with "Gilmore Girls" playing in the background. Liana did my makeup, opting for lashes, a nude lip, and blue eyeliner—something simple but cute. Then, we worked on my hair, curling the ends and creating a slick half-up, half-down look. We chatted the whole time, discussing anything and everything. It felt like the time we got ready for our first middle school dance. Oh, how simple things were back then.

After we were both ready, I looked in the mirror. I felt very pretty, thanks to Liana, but my nerves started to kick in as I realized it was time to leave for the bonfire—a crowded place filled with students from my school. Ugh.

We sat in the car. "It's not too late to turn around," Liana said, sensing my off-put energy. "Don't say that, 'cause I might just turn around. And you were right, I can't move on if I'm still stuck in my past." Liana then grabbed my hand with a reassuring look before starting the car's engine.

We pulled into an old back lot that was surrounded by trees. This was where we had it every year. We arrived at 8:20, so the lot had filled up with students already.

After entering the herd of people, I noticed the huge pile of sticks in the center, ice chests everywhere, and trucks hosting people in the bed of it. I might've had a few rough ones, but oh, how I missed kickbacks.

"Let's find Natalie," Liana chirped, snapping me back to the present. With a nod, we maneuvered through the crowd until we found her, and that's when the real party kicked off.

The music blared, and suddenly, everything else faded into the background as Chief Keef's "Hate Bein' Sober" transitioned into Katy Perry's "Part of Me." Me and the girls shared a knowing look—this used to be our anthem. We sang, we danced, but while they indulged in drinks, I opted to stay sober. Still, a part of me yearned for that buzz.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Elias. I zoomed in on him as I noticed he was dancing with Aria, a girl with a brunette bob and a tiny body.

As Elias twirled Aria, her brunette bob bouncing to the rhythm, a pang of jealousy tugged at my heartstrings. But as I reminded myself of our undefined status, I pushed the envy aside.

Undeterred, I continued my night, though my lingering glances at Elias did not escape the notice of my observant friends. "Go talk to him; it's obvious you want him," Liana's encouragement caught me off guard, but I countered, "He brought a date. It's fine." Yet, Liana and Natalie shared a knowing look before urging, "Just trust me."

Before I could protest, Natalie took matters into her own hands, approaching a guy nearby. "Hey my friend thinks you're cute, and would love to dance." Dread washed over me as I recognized him—Hugo, my childhood neighbor. "Yeah, I would love a dance," Hugo's easy reply only deepened my embarrassment.

"What the hell are you doing?" I whispered to Liana, but her mischievous grin betrayed her intentions. "Making lover boy jealous," she confessed before pushing me into Hugo's waiting arms. And just like that, we were dancing.

The dance started off awkwardly, but soon enough, the comfort of our childhood friendship settled in. Then, The Weeknd's "Acquainted" came on—a pretty sexy song. Glancing over at Elias and Aria, I decided to lean into the moment with Hugo.

I've been to multiple parties, and I know how to dance. I turned my back to him before shimmying my hips side to side all the way down his body.

I was kinda enjoying myself, and so was Hugo.