The Paths We Choose

Chatpter 16 (pov. Elias)

   I thought I would go to this dumb party for a little bit and dip my mother gave the, "get out of the house and be a teenager" speech before sending me out the door practically handing me the alcohol.

  After arriving to the party I saw multiple girls that might help my want to be here. When a little brunette approached sparking my interest I decided to fix my boredom by a little flirting.

The first time I shared a bed with a woman, my heart swelled with emotion, only to be cruelly shattered afterward. Now, I'd rather numb myself to anything beyond brief pleasure, avoid risk of opening myself up to that kind of pain again.

  It was a nice night in the end. We chatted and danced. "So why did you move here Elias" she asked a lot of questions but I expressed interest in her, so thats on me, "just needed a change" every question was met with vague response I didn't owe her an explanation to anything. Take it or leave it.

  After a new song played we began to dance again. Just then I heard a familiar laugh I looked over noticing Catherine with her friends. She was laughing and dancing some things I thought she was incapable of. My eyes went over her and her body I had never seen her look so good her smile was radiant and her curves exposed.

  Her look of amusement might've been one of the best sights. The girl I was dancing with pulled me back in by running her hands up my chest. I needed to shake the thought of Catherine off anyways. I grabbed her one hand on her face the other on the ass and kissed her hoping to remove Catherine off my mind but I looked over again. She was dancing with a boy.

  I instantly pulled away, "what are you doing. Do you not want to continue dancing?" Desperation fleeting from her voice, "fuck off" I'm not sure where she went but I noticed she took the hint and left.

As I pondered my next move, torn between talking to her or charging towards him, I wouldn't figure it out planted here. I began to approach her, when my steps faltered. The sight of the smile he effortlessly drew from her lips, the way they engaged in conversation, it gave me pause. She seemed genuinely content, and I struggled with the realization that perhaps I should simply let her be, despite my feelings.

Then, a slower melody flooded the room, and their innocent exchange transitioned into something more intimate. Anger simmered within me, I could tell in the tension of my clenched jaw and the way my hands twitched in frustration. Despite the crowd pressing around me, I felt rooted in place, consumed by the unsettling truth that she found happiness in another's arms, and I struggled to accept it.

I grabbed a beer and gulped it down before seizing the hand of a stranger. I didn't want to feel the ache Catherine left in my heart, so I started kissing the stranger and exploring every inch of her body before pulling her behind a pickup truck. About five minutes into it, the sound of glass shattering interrupted us.

I hastily pulled up my pants and waded through the now chaotic party. People were getting angry and fights were breaking out. But amidst the madness, I was only focused on one thing. Finding Catherine. Then, I heard a gunshot.

Her body dropped to the floor, and I felt like my world was crumbling around me. I pleaded with her to wake up, "please amber. I'm here baby" but she remained motionless. Unable to bear the sight, I confronted the man responsible for the killing of his own daughter, hitting him repeatedly. he had dropped his gun in shock. I was consumed by pain and anger, almost resorting to something irreversible if not for the intervention of the police that his wife called."

Wiping away a tear, I pushed through the crowd until I found Catherine sitting on the ground, trembling with fear. I ran to her, and she ran into my arms, seeking solace.

I held her close, relieved that she was safe. I asked her where her friends were, and she explained that they had left to handle an incident involving Liana. With Catherine in my arms, I led her to my vehicle.

Just then, a guy was pushed into her. I had dealt with enough boys being around her for one night, so I pushed him. After that, he lunged for me before I quickly knocked him out with my fist. She looked terrified of me. "It's okay," I reassured her before grabbing her again and leading her to my truck.

Once inside, I asked for her phone so I could call her friends and let them know she was okay. As she dialed their number, I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt and confusion.

I turned on the heater in the truck and made sure she was situated. It started off quiet before I interrupted the silence, "Can we discuss the guy you were grinding on?" I couldn't let that ponder anymore, "Can we discuss the girl you were making out with?" So she had noticed me tonight.

"It's a party, Elias. Don't take it so seriously," her voice was monotone, like she no longer felt any emotion other than numbness. "Maybe you are right. I still didn't like it," I added.

Her voice rose in volume when she said, "What is this? You tell me what to wear, you get mad when I'm with another guy, and somehow you're always there when I need you." Her words were exactly what I've been asking myself. "I don't know, Catherine. Can I not just be there for you?" I wanted her to be protected so she didn't end up like Amber. I care too much for her. That's when I realized I'm starting to care for Miss Catherine.

"I don't need a protector, Elias. I'm doing just fine on my own," her words hurt me. Did those times I was there for her not mean something? "God, you're so stubborn sometimes," I muttered, frustration creeping in. "There you go again, acting like you know me but you don't." "You know what?" I braked the vehicle and pulled over to the side of the road.

In a split second, I kissed her, seeking answers in the warmth of her lips. But I was met with emotions I didn't know I had. She didn't pull back, so I adjusted myself, giving more to her.

  I unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled her into my seat. My hands roamed, touching her in the way I've wanted since I laid eyes on her. It felt like I was receiving a gift from the universe. The universe broke me, and now, they are kissing all the cracks, hoping to mend them.

This girl isn't my gift; she is my universe now, and I was going to be the one to break her. "I can't. We can't," I pushed her back, putting her back in her seat and buckling her back up. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Her face melted with confusion, her lips still parted. She moved her hand up to her mouth, placing it where I had kissed her. As we stared at each other, I turned my keys, and my car came back to life. The further I drove away and the more road I covered, the further I felt from her. I couldn't be the one to break her again, so as I drove away from that spot on the side of the road, the possibility of us became more distant.

After we arrived more in town, she put her address in the GPS, and I followed the map, keeping myself as far from her as possible. "Don't be sorry. If I didn't want you to kiss me, I would've pushed you off. If I didn't want to be in your lap, then I wouldn't have climbed into your seat. If I didn't want your touch, I would've removed your hands. And Elias, if I didn't want you, then I wouldn't have asked you to stay that night."

Her words broke me, especially when she finished with, "And Elias, I know that if you didn't want me, you wouldn't have patched up my thumb, you wouldn't have carried me into your bedroom and protected me throughout the night, you wouldn't have let me assault you out in the hallway." A little smile played on her lips. "And you wouldn't have ran through a hectic party to find me."

I couldn't even look her in the eyes. "You know, Catherine, I told you the dreams haunt me at night too. And somehow, all of it turned off when you laid in my arms. I felt that helping you was healing the part of me that was helpless. You gave me purpose. Then I realized I wasn't helping you nearly as much as you have helped me. Because of you, I've experienced emotions I never knew existed. Catherine, because of that, I owe you my life. And I refuse to repay you by allowing you to be with someone like me."