The Paths We Choose

Chapter 19 (pov lisa)

  There it was – the inevitable drop after feeling high. Coping with the realization that my father isn't truly my dad has been easier because of our lack of connection, but his hurtful words linger in my mind daily.

I can't shake the guilt of potentially putting Elias in danger, nor can I ignore the sting of my father's cruel remarks about Liana. "Not even your best friend comes over anymore; it's only a matter of time until everybody sees what a waste of breath you are."

Then there are my mother's haunting words: "You abandoned me. You're just like me." The weight of these words presses down on me, causing a dull ache in my head.

Now, I have nowhere to turn. Most nights, I stay at Liana's house, but occasionally, I go to Adora's, sneaking into her brother's room for additional comfort.

I wish I could find solace in his arms every night, but I know it's only a matter of time before his parents catch us in bed together. Isn't that just like me – using Adora for her older brother's comfort? I feel pathetic.

I feel like I'm just a burden. My father made me feel that way, and now Liana doesn't even have a real best friend anymore. Anytime I was with Elias, it was for my personal needs. I couldn't keep doing it anymore. Graduation is in a month.

Despite everything, I managed to maintain my stellar grades. All I need to do now is lock down my scholarship at Chapman University in California. I toured their campus during my sophomore year and fell in love with it. It's far enough away that I won't be adding to the weight of my friends' lives.

  As the days dwindle down on my last year of high school. I watch as all my fellow classmates enjoy their last minutes. They talk more, they cry more, and they love more. I think of how I would be if my life had managed to be some type of normal.

  I hadn't realized how stuck in my thoughts I had been until, "you okay Lisa." Liana looked a little concerned. I gave her a reassuring smile, "yeah I'm fine" she gave me a I'm not stupid look, "what are you thinking about" she rephrased her question. I wish she hadn't known me so well, "I'm seriously fine I think I'm going to skip my last period so I can get to work early"

  I had started to work at a the library near the school so I can walk after school. If I had any want of affording things in college I needed work. It was quite easy and I enjoyed it. I organized book and printed peoples memberships to the library.

  "Okay. I can drive you." The walk was only ten minutes and it was starting to get warmer outside. "No, i can walk" i insisted

         
                             POV. Elias

I didn't tell her, but after I knew Catherine was safe, I pulled her dad aside for a chat, informing him that if he ever laid a hand on her or even looked at her the wrong way, I would handle the situation.

Afterward, I brought her home with me. I wasn't going to leave her there; that's the last thing I'd ever do. I've realized my fear of losing her. I'd take back everything I said in the car. I'd rather she be with me, scared of what pain I might cause, instead of afraid of the pain the world could cause her.

She comes over when she can't sleep and crawls into my bed late at night. Those hours have become my lifeline. I want to tell her that I want her too, but she's dealing with too much already. I don't need to burden her. We are in a good place, and I can't ruin it.

I look forward to seeing her in my last period every day. Today, I waited for her, staring at the door, hoping to see a petite blonde make an entrance, but she didn't. I was hit with instant worry. I hadn't realized how much class had passed. I couldn't think straight. She would've told me if she went somewhere.

The images of walking in on her father hitting her appeared in my head. I got up from my seat. I needed to find her just to know she's safe.

I made my way to my vehicle and started up the engine. I thought maybe she had left for work earlier, so I headed to the library across the way.

As I entered, I saw her in the dimly lit, empty library. She had grabbed a book and found a seat among the dozen tables and chairs centered right in the middle. She looked at peace, flipping through the pages. Occasionally, she'd move her hair out of her face, but otherwise remained still.

Entangled in her story, I noticed it was "Wuthering Heights." I wondered if that book made her think of me the way it made me think of her.

They say there are seven wonders of the world, but Elizabeth had become my eighth. She's the Catherine to my Heathcliff, but just like them, there's a difference between reality and desire. My reality is that our love story can never be until I'm worthy of her.

That realization was what I needed. I gathered myself, stealing one more glance at the girl so engrossed in her book that the memory of her tragedies is behind her. I left her there to read. I shouldn't bother her, I thought.