A Seraphim's Bubbling Desire

Prologue

The wind was cold against my skin as I walked home from work. The sun high in the air, showing it was just past midday. The music in my ears, loud enough to block the voices of people I had passed. My lips, upturned in a smile. It was the kind of peace I had waited years for. But things like that never last, not for me.

I had recently moved in with a mutual friend that I had never met before and it was going nice. I was next door to work so I didn't have to waste any gas and my roommate and I had quite a bit in common. The pay I received was not great, but it paid for everything I needed and a little bit extra.

The reason I say, however, that it will never last is... I'm sick. The kind of sick that will never go away. No cure, only treatment; for the rest of my life. I have been so close to this type of personal freedom before but was never able to reach it. The sickness ruined me every time I thought I might escape it. Every time I got healthy, had a job and the medication was working.

Until it stopped. My body is really good at protecting me but it was eating my medication. Within a few months of the final loading dosage of medication I would find the medication wearing off. Until finally the medication did nothing but create a hole in my skin where the needle had pierced me.

Now the whole reason I bring this up, is that I was right. It didn't last. My body started devouring the new medication too. Unfortunately another problem occurred; none of the medications they tried to use next worked. I slowly slipped away from the living world as the pain tore me from the inside, breaking my mind completely. Finishing what it had started only four years ago.

I was able to say goodbye to everyone. The only good thing that came of my slow inevitable death. My new roommate, who I called a friend, was the first to know. He along with everyone I told was in disbelief, even if they knew it might happen. I spoke with everyone individually except my parents who I told as a pair. I only did so because I wanted to just have a moment with them and let both of our emotions come out, having a proper send-off.

My doctor had given me an estimated death date and it was way too far away. I wasn't going to let myself be tortured for that long. So I drove to my parents house, while they were gone, and walked into the woods. It didn't take long to find the tree I was looking for. It was a weird oak tree that had split into two quite early in its growth giving it a weird shape. It was also my favorite spot as a kid. The innocent little soul who never knew what would happen to him later in his very short life.

I began tying the rope across the main branch of the tree, the one I had played on the most as a kid, sitting atop of it with the other end around my neck. Every moment and every movement an agonizing one as the unending pain in my abdomen continues to torture me. I then began to yell to the world not caring who might hear my voice.

"So this is it huh!? After living for now Twenty-two years I'm finally dying!" I pause wincing at my pain, "I don't care what being decided this disease was going to kill me but, Fuck You!" I was forced to pause for a few minutes as the pain decided to ramp up for a small amount of time, "I just wanted to live a nice life... Have more than just a few scattered friends that don't realize I'm gone until I come back dying." Tears now welled in my eyes, "To have a partner, a lover, that could be by my side without worry of them leaving, or worse, staying and trying to go through this mess with me."

I looked up at the sky, the tears clearly running down my cheeks. My eyes darkened and my body a skeleton of its former self. A final phrase on my lips before the hang.

"Fuck You."