Red String (Series #1) \\ Ateez ✔

𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝘱.𝘫 ִ ࣪𖤐

To my slag of a lover,

Seonghwa.

I hope these words find you well, though I know I might or may not already come to a place beyond your reach.

How have you been, my Mars? Are you taking care of yourself, especially in the cold weather?

Please promise me you'll keep warm and eat well. I don't want to imagine you neglecting yourself.

My hands are shaking as I write this, I hope you don't mind the ink that scattered because of my tears. I genuinely cannot stop crying and this is already the last paper San can offer me.

I don't even know where to begin, but Seonghwa. First and foremost, I love you so much to the point I don't think the word love can even be enough.

You are the greatest gift the heavens gave to me, the star that shone even during my darkest nights. The one who gave meaning to my meaningless and you have made my life complete I never thought possible.

I'll choose you in always, in every other version of reality, and a hundred worlds, until the end of time; A thousand lifetimes wouldn't even be enough to have you by my side.

It's truly funny how we agreed to stay married for eight months, but it took us eight months to fall in love.

Nonetheless, I truly had no regrets when agreeing to marry you and risked it all. The best risk I have ever taken by far though I may have slighted you in that carriage. Now while I am at it, I'm sorry Hwa!

I'm not cutting anything off, I promise.

Anyway, I hope the memory of me will always become a source of warmth in your heart, and I hope that the footprints I left have made you into the person you are right now. Even if this letter reaches you or not, all I could ever wish is that you live your life to the fullest.

It's crazy how fate works in enigmatic ways- to see you cry on that riverbank that autumn morning in up until the time I married you again at the seaside. I knew that the string tied in our fingers would fasten even when our souls drifted apart, you are always the home I would go back to wherever life might take me.

Two souls are sometimes created together by the goddess of love, even before they are born. And mine just happens to be you.

I wanted to write this ahead because I can feel it creeping up my heart, I can feel the time running out with each passing day.

Because even after all these dimensions, I'm afraid this world won't align for us.

I'm sorry Seonghwa. I'm sorry for all the future and what we could've been. I'm sorry we cannot grow old together and go to festivals together with our greying hair.

It's a great pity that I wouldn't be able to see become a father, carrying our little flower against your back with that silly smile on your face.

I'm sorry as well, because I know you wanted to go first.

Also, I hope you don't hold me in your arms while the poison kills me, it stings to the heart seeing those eyes of yours in the face of death, knowing I won't be able to see it again.

But you have to promise me that you will not let my absence dim the light in your eyes or the warmth in your heart. You deserve all the love and joy this world has to offer, and I want nothing more than to see you happy, even in my absence. Okay?

If you lived your life in sorrow, just know that I'm haunting you down and forcing you to sit cross-legged.

I know your legs are incapable of doing that, so I will be enjoying every moment of it.

Carry me in your heart always, Seonghwa. You act too tough most of the time but cry like a baby. Seeing you like that hurts me, even the thought of it is making me cry. And I want you to remember me not with tears, but with happiness.

Because even somehow, fate brought me to you, destiny gave me a chance to know what is it like to be loved by you, to be treasured by you and to know you.

Please be glad that it happened, and not because it ended.

Whatever we had is something I will treasure in this lifetime and carry to my next. Remember that I will always love you, even when I am a rotten corpse, a cluster of bones, a wandering spirit or a reincarnated woman.

My story may be over soon but you should continue yours for me and tell me all about it, when we meet again.

I'll be on the other side for you, waiting.

Until the roses bloom after snow,
Park Jangmi.

PS: if you hear strange noises in the night, it's probably me coming back to haunt you.