---.𖥔 ݁ ˖philophobia ˖ ݁ 𖥔.---

‧₊˚🖇️✩ chapter 3 🎧⊹♡

bangchans pov—

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i watched yeoji walk in front of me, her face entirely clean and her makeup was redone to hide the fact that she cried earlier.

i never even tried to hide the fact that i did really see her as a sister, but everytime i show affection she panics. 

i dug into my memory to see if she told me anything that might explain her somewhat strange behavior.

before, in previous years she never acted like this. but now, it almost seemed like she was scared of me.

we stopped just outside of the stage, and were set in a line up so we knew who had to get on stage first.

that person, ofcourse, was me.

first me, then lee know and so on untill we reached our maknae.

my maknae...

the crowd roared with excitement as we got on stage, waving and laughing as we greeted STAY.

"welcome!" yeoji shouted into her microphone, and i smiled as i could hear the happiness in her voice.

and that voice belonged to the person that had heard my voice break only hours ago. that person had crumbled just a little only hours ago.

that same person was on the stage, truly in her element.

our first song played and we performed, onto the next and the next and the next.

we reached our outro way too fast, and yeoji was missing after we finished the song.

the crowd screamed as she ran over the bridge-like structure like a little kid in a playground. hyunjin grabbed felix' hand and ran after her, followed by han and lee know, seungmin, changbin and so on.

i laughed into my microphone and gave in to it all.

i only looked at yeoji though, she seemed so happy here, and pride bloomed in my chest.

these are the people i wanna die with.

the staff had to run after us at some point like we were lost dogs of some sort.

the only puppy here is seungmin, who was also the first to stay behind and go with the staff.

i sped up untill i reached yeoji, and she looked up with me, eyes glittering like goddamn stars.

those eyes haunted me like crazy, i wouldnt be surprised if they showed up in my dreams, too.

she smiled and i smiled back at her. the subconscious urge to grab her hand and hold it almost won me over, but i changed my mind as i remembered what happened last time i tried.

i realized that we were the only ones left on the stage, and that hyunjin was dramatically screaming as felix grabbed his wrist to get him offstage.

we sat down at the edge of the stage, close to the crowd, and had some small talk with some fans.

the crowd was pretty quiet, when someone screamed something across the room.

"GET MARRIED" they screamed, and a few of the members ran back on the stage to hear what was going on.

i looked down to find yeoji quite flustered, but with a frown on her face, and a single tear almost escaped her eye as she laughed to hide it all.

i laughed, too, and shook my head, only to hear the members behind us laughing too.

theyll pay for that.

i quickly wiped yeoji's tear as it escaped from the corner of her eye before anyone saw.

"you okay?" i whispered as i saw the camera moving on to the other members running from the staff once again.

our staff need a raise for sure.

"mhm" she hummed in a reasuring way, and i got up and held out my hand to help her get up aswell.

she didnt take my hand but stood, then walked to the exit of the stage, waving to STAY one more time.

i frowned, confused, but shrugged and walked after her, careful to keep a distance as i dont know what she might do next.

she scared of you, for sure

no. no, she cant be.

is she?

why would she be?

i felt a pat on my back and found hyunjin smiling at me as i realized i had been staring at yeoji pretty long.

"you should probably leave her to it" hyunjin said, as i was about to follow her to her dressing room, and he led me to mine instead.l

hyunjin smiled sadly. "you dont know?" he asked, genuinely.

"i dont know what?" i asked, urgent building up, as i can NOT handle not knowing stuff that seems important like this.

"she didnt tell you anything?" he asked to reasure himself that i really didnt fucking know.

"didnt tell me what?!" i said loudly, a little louder then i wanted it to be, but whatever.

"if she didnt tell you, then neither will i. you understand that right?" hyunjin said carefully. i nodded. "sure".

someone burst into the room next to us, or out of it, not that i could see, and hyunjin and i ran out to see what happened.

we only found felix, slightly panicked, who looked at us for a split second before speaking up.

"hyunjin! hyunjin, i was looking for you, come on!" felix said, and he grabbed his hyungs hand tightly and pretty literally dragged him to one of the other dressing rooms, leaving me standing before hyunjins door pretty confused.

on the other end of the line of dressing room stood han, who was pointing at me, then back to the room felix and hyunjin went into and back as if he was processing what just happened. 

Jisung then looked at me questioningly, tilting his head, obviously confused.

i shrugged and walked toward him. "you did great today" i said, and i meant it. Jisung, and with him all the members, were insanely talented.

and then there was me. im just an average idol, not really special in a way that they definitely are.

i thought back to the events of this day, from the scene in the bathroom to the concert to backstage, and all i could think about for the rest of the day was how yeoji smiled at me while we were running..

and choi yeoji was scared of me.