haikyuu texts || haikyuu x reader

nekoma

y/n
im gonna kill myself
i swear ill do it

kenma
you say that once a week

y/n
yeah but its fr this time

kenma
u say that once a week too

lev
GUYS
GUYS I WAS TAKING FAT SHIT
AND THIS TAT
TAT
TAT
TAT
TAT
TAT

kai
take ur time

lev
TAT
RAT
THIS BIG FAT RAT
CAME INTO MY BATHROOM
AND WATCHED ME
TAKE A SHIT

y/n
one time i had a staring contest with a rat cuz it enteref my room

fukunaga
who won?

y/n
me obv
it ran away

kuroo
damn y/n
all u gotta do to scare away a rat is look at it

kuroo
ikr
i realised that the day you ran off when i walked in on you playing barbie dress up games

kenma
he what

kai
say what now

yaku
girl

yamamoto
🤣🤣🤣🤣

kuroo
i literally hate you

y/n
life when kuroo hates me✨🌈🌻

lev
GUYS NO
THE TAT
IT LOOKED AT ME AND I LOOKED AT IT

y/n
staring contest

yamamoto
i think the rat likes u lev

lev
AND IT FLEW FORWARD

yamamoto
damn it skipped the fall for u part and went straight to fly for u 😏

fulunaga
i dont think rats can fly

yaku
you dont THINK?

kuroo
but a cockamouse can

kai
lev was it a cockamouse?

lev
I DONT CARE IF IT WAS A COCKAMOUSE
whats a cockamouse?

y/n
cockroach + mouse

kuroo
damn even a cockroach and a mouse are finding love
ur fr the only loser left yamamoto 🤣🤣

yamamoto
what did i ever do to you

lev
NO THE RAT
GUYS
THE TAT
IT
FLEW FORWARD
AND I RAN AWAY
AND NOW THERES SHIT ON THE FLOOR OF MY BATHROOM
WHAT DO I DO

yaku
eat shit

lev
NOT HELPFUL YAKU SAN

yaku
anyone has chem hw?

inuoka
i do 😊

yaku
i mean a third year

kuroo
i do 😏

yaku
give it to me

kuroo
no

yaku
give it to me before i take it from u

kuroo
what are u gonna do?
bite my knee caps?

yaku
i will steal your hair while youre sleeping and then clone your dna and then murder karasuno's captain and leave ur cloned dna at the crime scene.
then i will hire a hypnotist to hypnotise you and get you to write a confession of the crimes i committed and then ill kill the hypnotist to eliminate evidence.
and then i will pretend to be rlly close to karasuno's captain and mourn him and go to the police crying to shift blame.

kuroo
im sending the hw via dms

lev
i don't know if i should be scared or impressed

yamamoto
why not both?

lev
u cant feel two things at the same time

y/n
i feel everything at the same time all the time

kenma
thats bec ur a girl

y/n
u guys are also girls
bbgs 🎀🩰🌷🕯️🥵💅😍

oikawa
yess queen 🧚‍♀️💃✨🌈

kai
who tf was that 💀

kuroo
arent u seijohs captain

oikawa
u want an autograph?
i can send a telegram

kuroo
no thanks 💀

oikawa
im going to the beach with my bf 🏝️

kuroo
im going to nationals with mine 🏆

oikawa
i will spike a ball into your face so hard itll fix your bedhair for all eternity

kuroo
hoes mad

kuroo removed oikawa

lev
GUYS WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THE SHIT
what if i put it back up my ass

kai
what if you dont

inuoka
why don't u try asking ur sister for help

y/n
ALISA MENTIONED 😍🥰😍😍😍😍😵😵‍💫😮‍💨🥱🥱😯🫨🤭🫣🫡🐱😺😸😹😾😿🙀🙀😽😼

kenma
begone simp
🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

y/n
☹️

lev
she's not at home 🤧

yaku
can ur incompetent ass not clean up ur own shit?

lev
i CAN
but HOW

kenma
i dont wanna picture this
im out