THE TIDE | | M.R

A new year

First of January, 1997

Spencer had spent New Year's in London, mourning her mother. Her father had always told her about how much Patricia Valdorf loved the celebration. "Celebrating a new year is celebrating new opportunities," Marvin Valdorf had quoted from Patricia almost every year. Always a small tear running down his cheek as the words trembled from his lips.

Now, Spencer was in grief as she stood in front of her mother's grave. Spencer kneeled and placed a bouquet of Bellflowers on the grave before she began to speak. Purple Bellflower had been her mother's favorite flower. Her father always made sure to have Bellflowers on her grave and around the house they were supposed to grow old in.

"Hello, Mother," Spencer mumbled, standing up and putting her hands in the pockets of her black coat. Her dark hair was in a loose braid, turning white as the snow harshly landed on it.

"I still ask myself the same question every year and every day, what would life have been with you by my side?" She looked around, the only people around were an old man and his wife, walking around the cemetery. It was quiet, the snow made the air boring and lifeless. All she could hear was her breaths between every sentence she muttered.

"I sometimes like to believe that if you..." Her voice cracked as she spoke.

"I sometimes like to believe that if you were here, father would be able to love me for who I am."

"You know, the older I get, the more I realize that father probably doesn't want to see me because it reminds him of you, isn't that right?"

A tear strolled down her cheek. She wiped it away. Her voice was trembling when she spoke.

"He has always reminded me of how much of you is left in me...Your hair, your eyes, the way we laugh, talk, and smile." - " I think it's tearing him apart, watching me get closer to an age that you never got to experience."

With that, she closed her eyes and tilted her head towards the sky. The snow fell on her face, melting as it touched her face. Spencer felt at peace as she walked away, knowing her mother would be safe and sound from all that the world tortured everyone with.

When she was back home, an all to familiar father figure was present.

"Cheers," She muttered, taking off her red thick scarf and black coat. Her boots were drenched in snow, and her father questionably looked at her.

"Why have you been in the snow?"

"I visited moms grave,"

"Hmph" was the only thing he let out, walking back to the sofa he usually sat in if he didn't work in his office.

The silence was usual, it wasn't comforting, but it wasn't anything new. Spencer made her way to the kitchen, which was tightly linked to the living room that Marvin sat in, reading the wizard news. Their apartment wasn't big, but it was enough for Marvin who mostly lived there alone.

In the kitchen she made herself some fish and chips that weren't eaten up from yesterday's celebration. She read a book while eating, when her father suddenly asked,

"So when are you heading back to Hogwarts?" He looked up at her from his newspaper, and when she didn't reply quickly enough, he asked again.

"When are you heading back to Hogwarts?"

"Oh, I didn't hear you, sorry. I haven't really decided, hopefully I will be back by the end of the week."

"Sounds good, I have plenty of work to do, you know, have to pay of your Yule ball dress."

"Yeah, I loved this year's dress, it was something I believed mom would have liked," She imagined, thinking of her mom.

"Maybe, she liked many things," he muttered, and that was the end of the conversation. When Spencer was finished, she made her way back to her room. Trying to read about the usual, potions.

First of February, 1997

Spencer sighed as she continued to try to make a calming draught in Potions class. She groaned as it failed once again. She looked around, and as always, everyone seemed to get the hang of it.

Thereupon, she saw the black-haired boy. He was finishing up his potion, smiling mischievous with Draco as he did.

After the Yule Ball, everything between them got more heated. Meeting up in many empty classrooms, sneaking around at night, sharing glances, and sending letters. All that, but none of them dared to say more than what was said at the Yule Ball.

Spencer was still taunting him with the small marks around her neck. She wanted the truth, and if she couldn't get it sooner or later, she didn't want to make anything official. He would always make an excuse for himself as she began talking about it. He always had to go back to his lesson or he was too tired.

If she only had understood why he never wore a shirt that didn't cover up his wrists.

This day was no other exception. The two of them had met up right before the last lesson of the day. As usual, there were no holding hands, no hugs or kisses. Even if everyone probably understood something, nobody of them wanted anybody to see them.

They both knew it was terribly wrong, especially Mattheo. He knew his father was responsible for her mother's death and he even knew that her father was a suspicious man. He was sure of, if Spencer found out that his father has her mothers blood on his hands, Spencer would never be close to him again. Because he had remembered one time in fourth grade how Spencer had thought her mother died by sickness.

So he never mentioned it. He even never mentioned his father around her. It didn't matter, for now.

"Mattheo?" Spencer had smilingly crept behind him as the lesson ended, a tiny smile on her lips forming.

"Valdorf?" he asked, as they began to make their usual route towards the toilets. "How's your day been?" He asked.

"Better now,"

"I guess I would feel the same, but you know, I could murder for a meal,"

"Do you want to grab something then?" She asked, stopping in her tracks. Mattheos eyes were all over her, and he smiled.

She loved when he smiled.