wanting to die is not something i thought i would ever do.
i grew up knowing the hurt of suicide.
but here i am, sitting on the couch, wondering if i should continue on.
and yet wondering if i'm even enough to do it.
do i have the reasons for offing myself?
do i?
i have reasons, yes, but could they be too superficial?
am i just wanting to die because it's what people around me are doing?
or is it an intrinsic part of my being?
i don't know who i would have been if i wasn't like this.
what if i'm happy?
what if i just told someone?
i can't.
they'll tell me that i need to go to a professional.
i can't.
the professional will make it more serious.
i can't.
my family will know if i tell a professional.
that would hurt them too much.
if i just did it, would i be ok?
