British Comedy Imagines

Ink Master (Josh Widdicombe)

One day, you were sat watching television when you thought to yourself, "nothing interesting ever happens on boring days like this". It was true - you hated having nothing to do. However on that particular day, all that was about to change.

You were watching The Mighty Boosh, mostly because it was the only thing on that was any good and you needed a good laugh. You see, Josh was out of the house and you had no idea when he'd be back. He was out shopping, buying a gift for the Taskmaster. Now, here's the boring contextual bit.

Josh, being the well known comedian he was, got invited by fellow comedian Alex Horne to partake in the first series of his new game show, Taskmaster. Greg Davies was chosen to be the titular Taskmaster and one of the tasks was to buy him a gift before shooting in the studio began. For a few weeks he'd been struggling, but that morning he suddenly had a stroke of genius and had been out most of the afternoon, presumably buying his gift for Greg.

You were now only half paying attention to what was on the telly, trying to work out what Josh's gift was. You were absolutely clueless as you'd only met Greg a couple of times, purely because Josh was on Taskmaster.

Suddenly, the door opened and in came Josh, though the living room door was shut so you couldn't see him. All you could hear was quiet, pained grunting and this instantly worried you.

"Josh, are you alright?" You shouted, turning off the television.

"Yeah, I'm alright!" He shouted, though he sounded like he was struggling.

You decided to leave him be, figuring he'd tell you himself once he was properly settled. Plus, he could also show you his present for Greg. That was, until you heard a loud thud from in the hall.

"For fuck sake!" Josh shouted, half panicked, half hurt.

You shot up like a dart, anxious to see what he'd done.

"Josh, what have you done?" You panicked, bursting into the hall.

All the hats and bags that'd been neatly hung up were in a heap on the floor, but luckily no damage seemed to have been caused. Except to Josh, who was now writhing in pain.

"Are you okay?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

He nodded, trying to walk away from his mess. You noticed him limping slightly, though trying and failing to hide it.

"Oh my goodness, you're limping!" You gasped. "Come on, I'll sort the mess - you get sat down."

So he did, breathing a sigh of relief as he collapsed into the sofa. You hung everything back up in no time at all, immediately finding him squirming slightly as he tried to get comfortable.

"What happened to you today?" You asked. "I thought you were buying a gift for Greg?"

"I was." He said, wincing. "For fuck sake."

"Well where is it?" You asked, the penny having not quite dropped yet.

He sighed. He sat up and reached to pull his socks off his feet, his face crumpling from the agony of moving them.

"So, you know how I was supposed to get a present for the taskmaster?" He asked. "Well I got him this."

He took off a sock and pointed at the side of his foot, revealing a tattoo. Your eyes widened as you had a closer look, revealing the name "Greg" inked eternally in a typewriter font used on the show.

"Joshua Widdicombe, what the fuck have you done?!" You shouted, surprisingly sending him into hysterical laughter.

"I knew you'd be shocked, but I didn't expect that answer!" He laughed, falling backwards into the sofa cushions.