I Still Got Love For You

XVI.

Being away from each other is harder and much more frustrating than they  had expected.

Harry has been in Australia for 3 weeks.

Trying to reconcile their schedule so they can talk at least once a day is impossible.

They set on texting daily, anytime, whatever they feel like, and calling every 3 or 4 days.

They send each other pictures of sea views, food dishes, art pieces, potential outfits, tour stages, loads of cats, flowers, lyrics, anything. Their voicemails are full of "I miss you's" and "I wish you were here" and "today was incredible, you should have seen it".

Once a week they facetime. And things get interesting then. She is paranoid that someone will hack into their internet connection and catch them doing something that could ruin them both, and he laughs at her: "you are so silly sometimes", "these things happen, babe", "shall we stop then?", "Never".

She has been preparing her tour, The Eras, her biggest tour to date. Finishing touches to the set list,  rehearsal with dancers, wardrobe fittings, and getting fit enough for the 3h15m performance keeps her busy most of her days.

He is avoiding thinking about the PR stunt, and he knows at some point he will have to talk about it with her, but they are so good now. For the first time in God knows how long, he is happy. Simply happy. And he wants to enjoy every minute he can get of it.

Soon enough 6 weeks go by, and her tour starts while he is still touring Asia. Keeping in touch will be even more difficult from now on, with her travelling and performing too.

"I am so sorry I cannot be there" he says.

"Like you would show your face in one of my concerts if you were", she laughs, "imagine the fans and media meltdown." 

"Yeah, didn't think of that" he answers flatly.

"What's wrong, babe?", she asks, noticing his tone. He sighs.

"I am just tired, and..", he sighs heavily, "this is so frustrating sometimes."

"I know", she answers fully understanding. "Taylor! 10min" he hears a voice calling for her.

"Harry, I am so sorry I really got to go."

"Yeah" he answers, "Go get them, love".

He cannot sleep that night. He comforts himself with the thought he is flying back to London, in a few days, to keep touring Europe, and being home will soothe his disquiet.

Her agenda is packed with tour dates in the US, so he does not even know how or when they will see each other.

He is starting to experience the weight of their distance. He feels lonely without her, and hearing her voice and seeing her on a screen makes him miss her even more, and it is not enough anymore to appease his low spirits.

So he paces the room, he tries distracting himself with the TV, with a book he has been carrying around in his bag, but never really had the interest to read.
Right before dawn, though, exhaustion wins over the uneasiness he is feeling, and he falls asleep.

The following morning, he looks like death. Or at least that is what Jeff says as soon as he sees him getting out of the lift in the hotel lobby, ready to leave for a round of interviews before the show tonight.

"Didn't sleep much last night", he says as they get in the car waiting for them.

"We still have 2 shows to go here", he adds, "will you be ok?" Harry nods.

"Just need some sleep." Jeff looks at him and grabs his phone, "we will get that sorted for you."

As predicted, her show is a huge success. He sends her a massive flower arrangement. Bouquets of thirteen flowers each, arranged by her album eras colour coding. She loves it.

He scrolls through his phone reading headlines, and critics praise. She looks beautiful and happy in the show pictures.

He smiles to himself, that is my girl, he thinks, MY GIRL.

And He wants to shout it out, to the whole world, and he hates that he cannot share the proud feeling with anyone.

***

He has been touring in Europe for two weeks now. It feels good to be home again. Albeit in a London Hotel room, provided by the recording company of the charity show he is performing for in a few days.

He is seated on an armchair in his hotel room lounge area when Jeff knocks and comes in, at his call.

"How you feeling today?", he asks.

"Good, thanks".

"Great, so time for an update then."

He nods as he rubs his eyes, while Jeff explains.

"I have emailed you the schedule for the interviews and the TV show filming sections. Pickups, everything is there, ok?" Harry nods, reaching for his phone to check the email.
"PR are pushing tour images in the media, and Taylor's rumours go out today, through two agencies. Printed press and other media outlets."

He instantly lifts his head from his phone to look at Jeff. "What?" he asks dumbfounded.

"Taylor Russell", Jeff offers as an explanation. "Are you ok, boy?", he asks and Jeff's phone rings in his hand and he picks it up.

"Sorry Harry, been waiting for this call , really need to go, but we will catch up later, let me know if you have questions about the schedule, have some rest." He says as he leaves the room talking loudly on his phone.

Harry is too stunned to even say goodbye, and just watches Jeff as he walks out. He feels his heart drop to his feet, at the idea of having to explain this to her. He was hoping they would have more time in peace. He had hoped it would all get cancelled magically.

Turns out pretending it wasn't happening did not stop it from happening.