A missing piece (itafushi) |itadori × fushiguro|

Chapter5

Chapter5: 3Am

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3 am

Itadori suddenly woke up around 2:30am to Fushiguro sitting next to him on his laptop. When being questioned Fushiguro replied he couldn't sleep. Fushiguro is an insomniac Itadori knows that, he often stays up late and finds Fushiguro online all the time.

Not being able to fall asleep again Itadori tried to start a conversation which soon changed from random chit-chat to them taking about their feelings.

***

The lines of the figure in the dark are familiar to him, the way the light of the laptop illuminates his unruly hair. But Itadori cannot make out anything beyond Fushiguro, sitting hunched on his bed in the dim room.

"I'm terrified everything is going to disappear." The words are tinged with muted desperation, forcing Itadori to take a deep breath and let it out slowly, to gather his thoughts. What is he supposed to say to that when he feels the same? Everything they have currently is amazing but they are all too aware of the fact that it can vanish in a blink of an eye. People are fickle and so is friendship or love.

"You will still have us." Itadori offers, a shy half smile curling in the corner of his lips as he glances away from Fushiguro's screen, eyes briefly catching on the time in the corner. 3am.

"Itadori." The rumble of his voice sends a small shiver up his spine, effectively pulling said man back to the present. "You are too kind for your own good. You will continue giving and giving to people until one day you won't have anything left from your heart."

"I-is that a bad thing?" Itadori's voice lilts at the end and he chuckles but it sounds cheap even to his own ears. "I mean... I just want to make everyone happy. I don't need a heart for myself."

"That's bullshit." Fushiguro is sitting up a bit straighter now, his eye which is visible squinting at Itadori. "You need to be kind to yourself too."

He cannot keep the intense eye contact so he averts his gaze, fingers fiddling with the hem of the blanket as he gulps. He wouldn't admit this to anyone but this is Fushiguro. Fushiguro who understands him and somehow when Itadori's with him, he feels like they've known eachother forever.
"I don't know how to." He fights to keep his voice from breaking, clearing his throat as the words hang in the air, the admission weighing down on his shoulders, almost crushing him.

"Yuji..." Fushiguro's voice is impossibly gentle but unfortunately that only fuels the ball that seems to form in Itadori's throat, making it hard for him to breathe and swallow. He fidgets a bit, bending his knee a couple times to stretch it, plastering a smile on his face that is physically painful and feels more like a grimace than anything.

He also takes notics of the fact that he called him by his first name, which is actually rare. And for some strange reasons it fills Itadori with warmth.

"It's okay. As long as my friends or people around are happy, I'm happy too. I feel useful when I can make them happy." Technically, the second part is not a lie. He would do anything for his friends because that allows him to feel useful, like he did something meaningful.

"I know that. But you should try making yourself happy too, for your own sake and you know that you can't save everyone and one day of one of us will get hurt and you'd take it really hard on yourself and i just want you to be...i don't know really...prepared perhaps? " Fushiguro lets out a small sigh, wrecking his brain to say something useful. He knows giving advice can be shitty because they take away the power from you, making it seem like someone else solved your problems and you were left to blindly follow them. But how can he put into words how much the man right next to him means to him? How can he put into words that he finds him precious and he values his company more than anyone else's? He doesn't want to overwhelm him. He opts to gaze at him again, hoping his face, shrouded in shadows but open and honest, conveys how much Itadori means to him. "You should try being your own friend too."

Itadori seems to mull over his words, his fingers unconsciously reaching up to adjust his hair on his face, a nervous habit of his, even though he got a haircut last week.

"I can try." He whispers and once again Fushiguro wonders how much of it he really means and how much of it he is saying just to make Fushiguro happy. He doesn't want to pry anymore, he doesn't have the right to give mental health advice anyway when he is a mess even on his best days.

"As long as you try, it is alright." He hums, leaning closer to glance at the time in the corner of his screen. It is almost 4am and he knows they will have to wake up early tomorrow to go on their mission. "We should try catching a few hours of sleep..." He trails off, straightening his back to stretch a bit, his limbs heavy with a dull ache in his bones. Nothing he isn't used to.

"Yeah, we're getting sushi tomorrow, right? I can't wait to go visit different places with you guys" Itadori tries to change his tone to a more light-hearted one, their 3am conversations leaving him feeling strangely vulnerable. But it also feels good, saying his worries out loud in the dark and listening to Fushiguro's answers and vice versa. It put him at ease to know that he can share these thoughts with someone who never judges him or sees him as weak.

"Probably, depending on the weather tomorrow" He smiles softly, running a hand through his unruly hair and suddenly all Itadori can think about is that he wants to touch his hair and see if it's soft.

"I hope we can. I will concentrate all of my energy into wishing that it happenes tomo- uh today." He nods with a small nod of conviction and a tiny smile and it is enough to elicit a low chuckle from the other man. Honestly, if anyone can will something into existence through kindness, it is this ball of sunshine called Itadori.

"Thank you Itadori"

" For what?"

" For the good times"

Heat rose Itadori's ears and the visible tint of pink spread across his cheek.
He realized how beautiful Fushiguro looked, half of his face was illuminated by the light coming from the laptop screen and a faint blush in his cheek could be seen, everything together was enough to make Itadori's heart leap out of his chest.

It's now that he noticed how alone they were and that he can do anything now, maybe even go for a kiss.

Wait, where did that come from? He had never thought of Fushiguro this way until today, but when he did - it felt perfect.

But since how long has he felt this way?

He has alway admired him, maybe felt attracted to him but just now what he felt was completely different. Itadori is good with reading people's emotions but when it comes to his own feelings and emotions he's completely oblivious.

A distinct memory flashed in his mind. Of that day at the party. Was it real ? He had thought it was a dream? But he can't bring himself to remember how Fushiguro reacted to that.

Thinking about it now he felt embarrassed sleeping next to Fushiguro, the man he had kissed being drunk.

He mentally thanked Fushiguro for not bringing it up to save him the embarrassment, but also something tells him he should find out what Fushiguro felt about it.

" Well uh- sleep well.", a voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

Itadori glanced at the direction of the voice and notices Fushiguro is switching of his laptop. And suddenly the only light source in the roon was gone and it made Itadori feel even more hot than he was feeling just a while ago.

"Yeah, let's have a great five days here", Itadori smiled clearing his mind.

"yeah - sure ", With that promise in the air, they both crawled under their sheets, their hearts feeling lighter and the 3am shadows pushed back in their minds.

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so far I'm having fun writing this. if you like these Chapters please considering voting, that will mean a lott<3