Moths - Saltburn

Nightmare - 06

I sat in my car, staring out, absent from reality. I was startled as Oliver opened my door.

"Evie, you've been sitting here for an hour. I want to make sure you're okay." He said.

Everything sounded muffled.

"I'm sorry, Ollie. Is he still here?"  I turned to him, finally locking eyes.

"He's gone. Everything is back the way it should be." He spoke, searching my eyes.

The sun disappeared in the distance as we walked through the large black doors. The shadows of the estate gave me an uneasy feeling. My internal battle continued; I hated myself, but my desire for Oliver held me captive. The thoughts of home washed away as he held me, and his warmth eased my heart. He smelled of citrus with a woodsy hint, something I hadn't noticed before.

"I want to visit his grave after. I need to see it." My voice was shaky.

He waited a moment to reply. I could understand, in a way, that it was unusual to visit the grave of a man that you accidentally killed. He seemed unbothered by the ordeal; considering what we did after, one may think I felt the same. I thought I'd be okay, but I was haunted.

"Are you sure?" He was quiet in his response.

"I need closure, and I'm scared it will happen again. I can't close my eyes without seeing him." My body shook as I muttered the last words.

He pulled away and held my shoulders as he kissed my forehead. The cool air made its way between us while the wind whistled in my ears. The moon overtook the evening sky, and stars sprinkled across the darkness. I breathed in the crisp air and fought the tears that threatened to spill over.

"Let me take you. I'll find out where the funeral is, but it'll be a few days. We should get you something to eat." He grasped my hand as he spoke.

"Thank you, Ollie. I'm really not hungry." The thought of food repulsed me.

"Okay, you'll have to eat something tomorrow. Why don't you lie down again? Would that make you feel better?" He spoke with a concerned tone.

"Maybe. Can we avoid the green room? Please."

"Of course. I want you to know how special you are to me." He lifted my head and swept my hair off my face. His eyes glistened in the moonlight.

We walked through the courtyard and entered the house from a different area than before. My mind was too preoccupied with Duncan to enjoy the lovely details of the architecture. I couldn't imagine what his family was going through.

The guilt was eating me alive and creating holes in my heart that I couldn't mend. Oliver took me back to his room, where the blue bed awaited me. The room was a bit chilled compared to the warmth of the sheets.

He gave me an oversized shirt and a stripped knit sweater with blue and orange stripes to change into. I could've slept in my clothes, but it was a small detail I appreciated him noticing. It noticeably had a soft floral scent with a bit of cherry. I didn't know who it belonged to, but I didn't care.

"Get comfortable. I'll be back in a few minutes." He left almost as soon as he finished speaking.

I had yet to determine where he was going. Maybe he feared me, but I knew that wasn't right. He was so caring and handled me like a breakable, priceless piece of art. As I lay there, my eyelids started to feel heavy as sleep threatened to take over. I was determined to fight it as long as possible.

The shadows in the room played tricks on my eyes, making me believe Duncan was watching me. Oliver was back before fear was able to seize my thoughts completely. He joined me in the bed but didn't get under the sheets this time.

"Hey, you're okay. No one else will be here except us for the rest of the week. Go to sleep; I'll stay awake for you. We can talk about everything tomorrow." He softly combed through my hair with his fingers. I faced away from him at first, but I moved closer and turned to him, letting sleep take over. As long as he was there, nothing would happen.

I studied the room as I lay there. Oliver wasn't next to me, but I felt his warmth. I rolled over to check the time, but instead, my eyes saw a person in a rocking chair. It was moving back and forth, but there was no face. I glanced down to the lap where a head sat in the hands. It was Duncan; he was decapitated and rocking closer and closer. My blood ran cold.

"Oh my God!" I woke myself up. My lungs fought for a breath. A cold sweat covered me, and I shook to my bones.

"I'm here, I'm right here. It was a nightmare." He was still beside me, tousling my hair.

I sat up and scanned the dimly lit room to ensure everything was as it should be. My mind was unravelling. I pulled my knees to my chest, resting my head on them. Oliver sat up with me and rubbed my back. My eyes were dry, and I wanted to cry but couldn't.

"Ollie,  I can't escape him." I turned my head to look at him, bracing myself for another gruesome scene. Instead, I saw his bright blue eyes with all the worry in the world etched across them.

"You weren't asleep very long." He kept rubbing my back.

"He was in a rocking chair, moving towards me. His head sat in his lap." I stared blankly into his eyes as I reimagined the nightmare.

"I'm so sorry, Evie. It's not real." His voice soothed me.

"I know, but it's terrifying. It makes my blood run cold."

He seemed taken back briefly before pulling me to him and lying down. We talked for a little while, and I fell asleep again at some point. It was an undisturbed sleep this time. When I awoke, the smell of bacon and eggs filled the room. As I opened my eyes, I met a smiling Oliver. He sat near the end of the bed with a full English breakfast prepared.

"I don't know how you like your eggs, so I scrambled them." He said.

"Thank you, Ollie, that's so sweet of you. I promise I'll try to eat since you went to all this trouble." My voice was raspy.

"We can pick a few things up from your flat today. I enjoyed you staying the night." He smiled, and I caught a faint blush spread across his cheeks.

I ate more than I anticipated, but it wasn't easy. Needing to see Duncan's grave was all I could think about.