✓ | FLOW ( eddie munson )

eighteen. artificial happiness

veda henderson

"That was way too close," fear speaks for me as I climb out of the boat, paying no attention to the curly-haired man beside me. Once I become steady on solid ground, I huff and place my hands on my hips, "What the fuck are we going to do?"

Robin, Max, Steve and Dustin all start arguing over each other about what they think they should do, each plan being shouted louder than the previous one in an attempt to be heard. 

While the peanut gallery argues, I feel a hand grab my wrist and gently tug me to a hidden corner of the room behind a metal shelf filled with bits and pieces of random collectables and tools. Eddie tries to catch my eye, but I make it known I'm actively avoiding said contact. "Vey,"

"What, Eddie," I reply rather harshly. 

"No 'Muffin' or some other name?" He attempts to lighten the mood. I ignore him once again, feeling awkward around him suddenly. I mean, it's been awkward for a while but now, it felt like it was suffocating me. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for upsetting you,"

"You blew me off, Eddie. In more ways than one," I admit, feeling like I was naked from the vulnerability in my words. "I've been so confused and shaken by everything, more than you could even understand and I... I thought you were someone I could trust. But you made me feel like I really was crazy and all those other things people think-"

"Hey," He cuts me off, leaning forward to grab my face to stop my rambling. It worked, clearly. His sudden movements, although typical for the boy in front of me, startled me into silence. Either that or the intimacy of his touch. "You are not what people say about you. I'm sorry for singing in the choir of sheep," 

I almost laugh at his weird way of describing doing what everyone else at school had done but I can't find the noise within me, I was again hypnotised by his eyes. 

"I feel like I'm losing my mind," I admit, my voice breaking. 

"Nothing wrong with a bit of good old-fashioned crazy," He tries to reassure me, his eyes conveying to me how sincere he was. 

"Except you have no idea what that's like, Eddie," I grab his wrists and roughly pull his hands from my face. His words, although coming from a genuine place, evoked anger inside of me. "I've seen the type of crazy I'm heading to and spoiler alert, it's not pretty," 

"Is this about your dad?" Eddie spoke too quickly before his brain could realise what he had said. He looked like he wanted to clap his palms over his mouth but it was too late, the words had already found a home in my ear canals. Almost like an instinct, I reach up and shove him as hard as I can, forcing him to stumble back into a wooden wall behind him. 

"How dare you?" I hiss, the anger rising in me as he looked at me with confusion as well as his own anger. "You took my pain and my relief and used it as a way to try and fix me in order to feel good about yourself then you throw that same pain which you know nothing about back into my face? You... you used me until something or--my bad--someone better came along,"

"I was trying to comfort you!" He almost shrieked, his voice rising a few octaves as he held his outs out in front of him, palms to the sky. 

"Man, do I feel comforted," I remark sarcastically. 

"Whatever, man," Eddie brushed me off. "I was trying to do what I thought was best for you, it had nothing to do with Chrissy Cunningham I only just met her!" 

"I just," I blow out a mouthful of air, running my fingers through my knotted onyx hair. Every emotion I felt was heightened and dramatised by the lack of artificial happiness flowing through my veins as well as the fact that even the thought of my late father was enough to send me skyrocketing. "I don't feel like now is the right time for me to go without what I need, okay?"