Love You, Doc

Chapter 64- Never come back

Ella De Jesus

I'm here at the memorial, Binibisita si Jessie

It was his ash na nandito

"h-hi, my love... I-I'm sorry... I-I'm sorry a-anak, I-I...I-I wasn't there.... I-I'm sorry,I should h-have known. I-I'm sorry hindi kita nailigtas... I-I'm sorry, n-naging p-pabaya ako. H-hindi pa n-nagigising si m-mommy mo, t-tapos si kuya J-jordi, he's been experiencing t-trauma... I-I'm sorry, f-for l-letting this h-happen... I-I'm sorry, anak" I cried

Napa upo naman ako sa tapat ng puntod niya

Wala namang magagawa yung sorry ko eh

Kasi, kahit anong sorry ko, hindi na siya babalik

Jessie will never come back

We lost him for good, and I couldn't even do anything about his loss

Ngayon, hindi ko alam kung paano ko haharapin si Jema

Alam na nila papa and my parents

Sila na yung nag babantay kina Jordan and Jema

"Tapos ka na?" It was Alyssa

Alyssa has been with me, since We got into the hospital

She witnessed all of my tears flowing down through my eyes

all of my sorry

She's been comforting me, And saying encouraging things

"Let's go, Sabi ni tito balik na tayo doon" She said

I kissed my hands and slowly traced it on his Tomb

"I-I love y-you, my little J-jessie..." I said

I felt Alyssa's hand on my shoulders

"Let's go, Ells. You need some rest" Sambit ni Alyssa

"N-no, ly... ibalik mo ako sa hospital, kailangan ako ng mag ina ko" I said

"Tsk, ang laki na ng eyebags mo oh? at tsaka, andun naman na sina sina tito at tita... halika na" She said

"Hindi ka ha talaga nakaka intindi? Okay pa ako oh, Tumatayo pa... Ibalik mo na ako sa mag ina ko kasia kailangan nila ako!" Singhal ko

It's my first time being this angry

Nagulat naman si Alyssa

I quickly looked away and let my tears flow

"J-just...I-ibalik mo nalang ako sa, h-hospital ly" i stuttered

Jema Galanza

I woke up feeling thirsty

"P-pa?" bungad ko

I saw papa, Mafe, bea, Daddy and mommy here

Nasa... Hospital ako

and then, I remembered everything Dali dali akong bumangon

Kaya pinigilan ako kaagad ni Mafe

"A-ano ba! y-yung m-mga bata" Sambit ko

"A-ate...w-wala na s-si... W-wala na si J-jessie" napatigil naman ako sa sinabi niya

Hindi...Hindi totoo

"M-mommy" napa lingon ako sa left side ko

"J-jordan M-matthew, a-anak" I said

"A-asan si Jessie?"I asked

"W-wala na siya, Jessica... Nawalan ako ng isang apo" papa said in a sad voice

Napa iling naman ako sa sinabi nila

"H-hindi, h-hindi totoo yan!" I said

Bigla naman pumasok si Ella

"L-lablab" I cried

nilapitan niya ako at tsaka yumakap sa akin

I felt her tears on me

"I-I'm sorry... l-love" she sobbed

Please don't say it

Don't say it, Jorella

"W-wala na si J-jessie...h-he will n-never c-come b-back" she sobbed

Napa iyak naman ako

Naka uwi na kami, but we were silent.

Ang tahimik ng buong bahay,Not like before

"Lagay ko lang to si kwarto niyo" Mafe said

Nakita kong tumango si Ella

"L-love..."Sambit niya

Hindi ko siya pinansin

lumayo ako sakanya at tsaka pumunta sa kwarto ni Jessie

I locked the door and cried

Jessie, my little one

I'm sorry, wala akong nagawa

I was just carrying you, and I couldn't protect you

The photos of us was still there

Tinignan ko yon, The four of us were smiling

This family will never be the same

Ever, again

I slept kaya diko na namalayan kung anong oras na

1 am na pala, I decided to stay here

Dito muna ako, Kay Jessie

Nanlulumo ako habang tinitignan yung mga pictures

From my 1st ultra sound

Hanggang sa first birthday ni Jordi

Nalungkot naman ako bigla

Napapabayaan ko na si Jordan

I will never be a good parent

Hinahayaan ko lang mawala sakin yung isa kong anak, muntik pang mawala sa akin si Jordan

I sobbed and cried again

Hindi na ata to mawawala

The trauma, and the Pain

Will forever be engraved in my mind