Colored Purple

Fuck it

Tarajis POV

With the shooting finally coming to a close, I decide that since it's been such a heavy day, we all deserve a night out. I spoke to Danielle and Halle earlier and already have their RSVPS, now just to ask Fantasia. After cutting for the final scene, Fantasia quickly ran off somewhere before I could get to her, so I decided to text her. 

Fantasia 💜

Hey Honey, Dani, Halle and I are going out for

 some drinks tonight, probably around 8, 

 we'd love for you to join us! Lmk!

Thanks T for the invite, but I got me a dog

and I need to get home to feed him. Maybe next 

time though! Ya'll have fun, be safe!

Skipping plans to feed the dog is, a new one, I say to myself with a chuckle. I get it though. She's had a draining day, I don't think I'd be in much of a party mood either. I really did hope she'd say yes though, I hate to see her so down. She's far to beautiful for all that pain. 

Fantasia POV

I open my eyes, continuously blinking, adjusting them to the darkness engulfing my hotel room. I reach over and switch on the lamp, wincing from bright light. It was such a long day yesterday, and I am completely drained, I DESERVE this day off day. I lift my hands above my head, stretching out the kinks in my neck and back before reaching over and grabbing my phone, to look at the time, 5:45, perfect. I lower my eyes preparing to sort through my never ending notifications, when one catches my eye. A text from Taraji, it read, "Hey Tasia, I know its been a long day and a busy week, but the girls and I are going for drinks again, you are always more than welcome, just wanted to lyk! Hit me back, kisses." I smile at the message, before redirecting my attention. Opening my contacts, I dial my favorite number. 

KeZiah: Hi Mommy

Fantasia: HI Zi.  Good morning sweet thing, oh my you look so beautiful

KeZiah: Thank you mommy, I miss you

Fantasia: Aww baby, mommy misses you more, I cant wait to hug and squeeze you again. Where's you brother? 

I continue the conversation with my babies, catching up on the nights dreams, before they are sent off to school. I thank the house helper and send kisses to my babies before hanging up. Mornings like this were always my favorite, waking up to my babies voices are always the highlight of my day. I cant wait to hug on them again. I uncover myself, and move into the bathroom. I run through my skincare routine, before taking a moment with myself in the mirror. 

The woman looking back at me was beautiful, no doubt, but she was so so broken. I could see it in her eyes, in the bags that weighed like heavy rocks under them. Still, on her face laid a smile, and within her heart she had God, so no matter what, she was gonna be okay. 

I walk out of the bathroom, and plop back onto my bed. I grab my laptop off of my nightstand, and place it beside me. I was planning on responding to emails... upon turning on my phone, I am reminded of Taraji's message. She sent it last night after work around 8:00 pm, but I got home at 7:00, I was asleep by 7:04. I felt bad for not sending a response to her message, but I was a little relieved to have a real reason as to why I didn't. I would've found a reason to turn it down anyway. 

Truthfully I was still embarrassed. It's been two weeks since the first time she asked me to go out. I tried to talk myself into it, but ultimately came up with some excuse. I just couldn't do it.  I couldn't bare the idea of sitting at the table with her after allowing myself to be so vulnerable, so raw so fast. The fact that I so quickly shared such personal information with her so soon kind of scared me, it made me question if I was that desperate, and more importantly if she recognized it. I know it would certainly do me good to get out of the house and have some fun, but I just don't have the energy for it. That and. Taraji. I don't know what it is, something about her and I scares me. She just draws me in so deeply. It feels like a trance. Like I'm hypnotized, and with the look of her eyes, I become unraveled. 

Taraji's POV

Fantasia never responded to me last night, never even read it. I cant help but feel like she's trying to distance her self from us. Or maybe just me, and I hate the way that feels. We've been around each other a lot and she seems to be so talkative and lively with our other casemates, but with me she seems more reserved. 

We haven't seen each other much this week, as were are both working on separate musical numbers, but next month, shooting will be all about Celie and Shug. We'll have to engage in such a passionate kiss and we can't even engage in conversation right now. I'm truly at a loss. I don't want to push and pry and run her off further, but I also need her to know that trying to do this all on her own is no good. 

You know what, "fuck it," I reach down my coffee table and grab my phone. 

Fantasias POV

......Incoming call: Taraji 

"Awl Shit." 

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💋