Mist | Scaramouche x Reader

Mist |Chapter 5

(This chapter is going to be longer than the other chapters because yes.)
Mentions of r@pe | If your not comfortable please skip this chapter |

Scara's POV:
I think this is the second day, I don't know. I lost track of time when I got kidnapped, when he experimented on me. Human necessity's aren't important for me, but I have gotten rather comfortable doing them. It makes my brain think I'm actually human, even though I'm not. I don't have a heart beat to listen to, I can breathe but it's not necessary. If I hurt myself, the blood wont be red. My blood is a bit different, it's more like a chunk of flesh.
I'm going crazy, I haven't seen the light in a
while. Is this really how I'm gonna die? Because of dottore, because I decided to save traveler? No, my whole life started going downhill when my body refused to accept the gnosis. Maybe then, I wouldn't be here right now. I could have ruled Inazuma, knowing that I won't get thrown out. I wouldn't have to spend all this time, maybe I could have prevented what happened to me those hundred years ago.

Mentions of r@pe start here|Ik I'm sorry :(
"Hey, are you okay? Do you need help? Why are you on the ground?" Who is this, where even am I, who even am I? "Where am I?" "You're in my house, you were knocked out on the entrance of a domain." "You're not the person I saw though, it was a different person. They had brown hai-"
That's when I got knocked out, for the second time. If I wasn't so easily distracted, maybe I could have ran away when they did so. Hell, I could have fought back. That's hypothetically, of course, but the only way I could have escaped, was to fight back. If I was weak enough to not be able to carry the gnosis, what could I do to a person? I couldn't do anything, I was stuck, alone, in the dark with nothing to lose. I've lost one thing, and that one thing taught me something. Don't try to keep burdens, don't keep trying just because you are afraid of failure. I'm afraid I'm a hypocrite though, because I still think of 'what if this happened instead of that'. I'm not sure if I can try going into my mind, it's possible but I'm not experienced enough to do that. Am I just a number, or am I just a toy. Once you use me, I'm no longer needed. Once I explode, from too much pressure, I'm suddenly the rude one. It's not my fault humanity shaped me into this. Don't try to push me over the edge, but you continue to push me over the edge. Testing the limits. I'm trying to find a way out, but it won't happen. I'm tied up, I'm not sure what that person is going to do. "Hey, I'm back." Thats not the same person. It's a different voice, it's rough, not soothing. It's so weird, like if they're going to tear me apart. Then, take my heart, not like I had one in the beginning. I'm scared, what are they going to do to me? "Who are you, you're not the same person that was here.." "You have sharp ears, but the question is, do you think other people have good ears as well?"
It was really hard for me, because I was scared I would get thrown away, once used never again. What are they doing? I can't see anything, I feel hands tugging at my clothes. Are they going to remove my clothes? "Please don't tug at my clothes, it's going to rip."  "Use your tiny ass brain, why do you think you're in the dark. Just because? No, I'll let you find out by yourself."
I'm still not sure why I was so fucking dumb, but I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't crying. Who wouldn't be? Scared, tied up, blindfolded, in the dark, with absolutely no sense of idea of where you are. Nobody to talk to, except the one who you're scared of.

-time skip-

I'm cold, why would somebody do that to somebody else? I'm just tired, I don't want to be here anymore. The floor feels dirty, raspy, almost like if it's rocks. Is this cement? Am I going to make it out alive, doubtful. I don't want to be kept here, I need to return home. Why did she even abandon me? I thought she cared about me, even if she was horrible at showing it. I want to feel warmth, I don't want to be cold, forever. Maybe, I did something to deserve this. Maybe, it was Ei who told them to do this. Did I deserve all of this pain? Am I that horrible that my own creator needed to do this to me? I need somebody to help me, but what are the chances? Nobody heard my screams, cries for help. I feel so betrayed, how could Ei do this to me..? Am I not suppose to cry, maybe not feel emotions. This is cruel.
It was cruel, even if I wasn't aware at the beginning. I'm still not sure if Ei did order them to do that to me. One thing is for sure though. Humanity is messed up, ignoring every thing that happens. Using an excuse to get out of something. Why are they so cruel?
Nobody's walked inside yet, are they leaving me forever? Do they think I'm a human, so they're leaving me here to die? I should pretend to be dead then, maybe I'll have a chance to survive. The survival chance is nearly impossible, but they might dump me in a field. Even if I can't feel my own hands, muscles, I'll try to keep my mind distracted. Some kids might find me on the ground, and they'll go tell their parents that they found a person. My head is pounding, I'm too exhausted to be thinking this much. Maybe it won't be so bad to fall asleep for a while..

-time skip-

It seems like I was right, they dumped me in a field. Now I just need to wait until somebody finds me. It might take a few days, weeks, months maybe, but that doesn't matter to me. As long as I get found, then I'll be able to continue my 'life'.
I got found about 4 days later, it was a couple of kids who found me. I'm not sure how the kids didn't cry, they just screamed and went to their parents. If only I was like that, strong enough to not cry. Maybe, I'll be able to not cry once dottore is done with the experiments.
"Are you okay? Who left you in the field?" "I'm okay, all I know is that there was 2 people working together. I was blindfolded the whole time, I'm sorry if that doesn't help." "Don't be, you managed to keep going through that. It must've been like hell for you, rest." That meant something to me. Somebody cared about me, they're trying to help me. Is this what comfort feels like? No wonder people like to be comforted. I'm tired, I need to rest. Am I really safe here though? Can I trust them? Maybe I should trust them for now, until I find somewhere to stay. I hope they don't do the same thing those people did to me..
They didn't, they were like parent figures to me. Something I didn't have, but something most kids have. That was about 400 years ago though, when the world wasn't that bad. Sure, it was still horrible. Not as horrible as present time though. Oh, looks like 2 hours went by, that was a bit quick. I guess, I was lucky enough to be found. What would have happened if they didn't dump me in a field, or if they found out I was alive? I would have died, that's for sure. However, what if they decided to do it one more time? I don't think my body would have been able to handle that amount of pain.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to trust people after that. At least, somebody found me and took care of me. Oh yeah, the little kid that found had a illness. I think I'll talk with him, just to see if he has the same issues as me.
Turns out, he understood where I was coming from. He said that he also viewed the world that way. However, since he had the illness he couldn't do anything about it.
"Hey, I made a doll for you. Here, it shouldn't break. If it gets burned, just let me know, I'll be able to try and fix it. If it gets burned all the way though, I won't be able to do anything." "Wow! Thank you, Kuni!"
-time skip-
This is it. Im not going to trust humanity ever again. Because, everybody ends up doing the same fucking thing. They leave, and they don't look back. Not even once. I look down at the ashes of the doll. It had a tiny heart in it after all. How come I couldn't have one? I'm sorry if I'm too fucking rude, too soft to understand stuff. Even without a heat, I'm still soft. How is that even possible? I'm leaving, I don't want to be associated with Inazuma anymore.
That I did, I never went back to Inazuma. Not once, because I'm still holding the grudge with that place. It disgust me even just looking at it. I hope that place burns to ashes, I'll make sure to be the cause of that.
One thing is for sure, humanity is fucked up. I don't want to be in here any longer though, so I'll have to go through everything again. The experiments at this point are nothing. They're like a piece of candy, only eaten for a small snack. Soon, I'll be able to rule a part of Inazuma, which means I can make that part burn down, or I can just make the people there fucking suffer. I guess I'll do both, just to satisfy my own being. Maybe I'll kill off a few people just for fun. That also means I can be feared by more people, eventually I'll be feared by every single soul on this planet. Law enforcement won't be able to do shit. Maybe then, humans will see what they shaped. What they shaped me, a soulless, puppet who is feared by many. That way, nobody tries to get in my way to stop me. The Yashiro Commission won't be able to do anything about me. I'll be the reason that there's a second Archon war. I'll also be the one who ends up being victorious. If I'm kind enough, I'll spare the traveler and paimon. That's if they don't get in my way to becoming a god. I don't care if they save me right now, I won't be angry. I'll just go back to dottore, until they eventually give up. I won't have to ever worry about anybody, anything or somebody.
Because, the world is dangerous. They don't wait for anybody, unless if it's for themselves. Every single person I have seen or met, are selfish. They don't think about anybody else but themselves. That's why, I shouldn't care about them either. They're all a bunch of hypocrites. Thinking they're more important than any other living creature. Since I'm technically not alive, they don't think about me. They just throw me away, like a puppy who got abandoned by its mother. I won't let that happen to me again, never again.

Authors Note|
Yay, I finished this chapter with a big bang. I hope you liked it, the next chapters will probably be the same amount of words as this one? I don't know yet. I kind of liked it? There's just a few things I wish I did better with :)
Words: 2028