Ink: Living Life as Serena Gleis

XLVII: Longing

Celeste and I went back to the Emperor's chamber after our successful deal. I cannot remove the stupid smile on my face as we walked the path towards Luca and the Emperor who looked like they were talking about some serious business.

The Emperor acknowledged our presence in the room as he shifted whatever they were talking about to a lighter topic as quick as lightning. Celeste gave the Emperor a kiss on a cheek before sitting down beside him.

"How did it go?" The Emperor-whose name is Aurelius, asked his wife with a gentle smile on his face. Celeste gave him a wide smile in return, "It's been great, I am looking forward to do business with this young lady." She answered as she looked at me.

"I trust your judgement." Aurelius replied, taking back his attention to Luca who's just sipping his wine the whole time.

"Luca." The Emperor called.

"Yes, your majesty?" Luca replied politely, putting his wine glass down as a sign of respect.

"I am also looking forward to work with you too." He answered. A strange-yet familiar smirk was seen on Luca's face. The sight of it gave me unfortunate flashbacks from the past that I wish I could've forget. Those are the kind of faces he make when he's successful on doing something... horrible.

The visit ended quickly, thank heavens that it did. I don't think I can stay in close proximity with Luca any longer.

"Se-" I heard him talk, though the loud stomping of the horse from the carriage that we were on made it hard for me to hear him clearly as his voice is a bit lower than usual.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"Nothing. I just want to ask how's business with the Empress?" He repeated which I will assume what he had said earlier.

"It's a success, I can't show my gratitude enough but thank you for this opportunity." I said, genuinely. If it isn't for him this wouldn't happen and I am really grateful for that but it wouldn't change what happened between us in the past. I am hoping that this would be the last time that we're going to meet or see each other.

"It's my pleasure." He smiled, a different smile from earlier. His smile now is more sincere and genuine as if helping me brought joy to him.

We haven't talked after that, I cannot put it into words but I am uncomfortably comfortable on the carriage. I felt safe yet my whole body is on high alert. The sun is setting and the lights in every stalls and household that we passed by turned on. The transition from a busy day to a peaceful night is a majestic sight to see.

The carriage stopped, Luca opened the door for me and offered a hand for me to hold as we get out of the carriage. It stopped exactly infront of our inn where Az and I stay.

There was Azrael, sitting in one of the chairs infront of the inn. He has his eyes closed as he used his arms as a pillow to make himself comfortable. The golden hues of the setting sun gently caressing his face, casting a warm, ethereal glow upon his features.

Is he waiting for me all day?

"Thank you for bringing me home Sir Luca, have a safe trip home." I said, giving him a small smile which he returned. He gently held my hand and brought it closer to his face, planting a small kiss.

"It's my pleasure, I hope that we'll run to each other again." He said before going back in the carriage, I waited for his carriage to get out of sight before walking towards Az who is still sleeping. I sat on the empty seat infront of him, he looks like an angel. I leaned closer, cupping my face with both of my hands. Staring at Azrael's sleeping face makes me feel warm and at peace.

He fluttered his eyes open, shocked of his sudden movement, I tried looking to anything but him. "Enjoy the view, it isn't free next time." He said with his just-woke-up voice.

"Why are you sleeping outside?" I asked as I cleared my throat, still not looking at him.

"I'm waiting for you." He said, this time I looked at him and saw him looking at me directly. He seemed examining my whole being.

"Silly." I replied and stood up. As I was going to enter the inn, Azrael just pulled me into a hug. His arms snaked around my waist and his chin rested perfectly on my shoulder. I could feel his embrace tighten, for whatever reason, it felt like home.

"Az?" I called but he did not respond. I just put my arms around him, hugging him back. We stayed like that for minutes, no words said. He let go and walked in the building, leaving me standing alone outside.

What the hell did just happen?

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. My heart kept of beating so fast that I just want to scream and give Azrael a nice ol' beating. I slightly slapped my face to wake up to the reality and went in the inn.

I walked to the lobby where there's a few people having the time of their lives, I entered are rented room and saw him laying down on the couch with a pillow on his face.

"You're acting different today, what happened?" I asked, he just groaned and turned his back on me. I rolled my eyes and decided to take a warm bath to the nearby public spring.

I removed all the jewelry I have and got a clean towel. I removed the corset, leaving only a white flowy dress that I have underneath. As I was to leave the Inn, Az finally decided to speak.

"Why are you leaving again?" He asked, he looked me directly into my eyes and I can see that he is sad. "I am just going to the spring." I answered. He sighed and got up the couch, he got a towel for himself and stood beside me.

"What are you waiting for? Let's go." He demanded. I looked at him in disbelief. This man will be the death of me.

"Can you be honest for a moment? What is happening?" I asked in annoyance. I had a long day and I am not in the right state of mind to argue with him and deal with his antics. "I am going with you to the spring." He answered.

"No. You are not going." I said, I know I am being petty but Azrael confuses me so much.

"Why? Is Luca going to be there with you?" He asked sarcastically. I heard my last string snapped. I threw my towel at him which he skillfully dodged.

"You're a stupid frick aren't you?" I cussed, I have this annoyance built up and just exploded this time. I am not really sure why I am mad but I just know I am mad at Azrael.

I just hated the fact that we had this random sweet moments but at the end of the day he'll act like I was nothing, bully me or force me to other man. It confuses me too much to the point that I just hate him. As much as I cherished those fleeting moments of sweetness, the bitter truth lingered like a shadow over our connection. He oscillated between tenderness and cruelty, leaving me adrift in a sea of confusion and resentment. The weight of his indifference and the sting of his actions left me questioning my worth, torn between longing for his affection and loathing his disregard. In the tumult of emotions, one thing remained clear - I couldn't help but despise him for the havoc he wreaked upon my heart.

"W-Why are you crying?" He asked, panic evident in his voice as he tried going closer to me. I did not even notice that I am crying.

"Just forget it." I sighed and laid on the bed, feeling exhausted and frustrated on what I am feeling. I just want to rest. I felt Az sat on the bed, beside me. He gently put his hand on my shoulder. "Hey." He called.

"Not now, Az. Please." I begged.

I felt his weight getting off the mattress, the door also creaked as he went out of the room. I am not sure of what is happening but I can't stop myself from crying. I don't know how long I'll cry but I just felt myself getting tired so I let myself drown on a dreamless slumber.