Every Rose has its Thorn

part 6

July 22, 1961
Two Months Later

+ + +

I didn't have much chores to do today and I wasn't feeling the best. So, I got Scout in the truck and decided to go for a drive. I don't know where, but I wouldn't go far. I just needed to breathe for a while.

I started the truck and just drove wherever the road would take me. I turned the radio on for some noise. An old song me and Rita used to dance to when we were younger came on. I smiled at the memory and listened to our favorite song play on the radio.

It's been another month and I hadn't heard from Rita at all. I think a while back her parents wrote my parents a letter, but nothing from Rita. Maybe she was waiting on me to say something first. I don't know why that realization had only just now came to me. My mind had been foggy recently.

I continued to drive. The sun was shining awfully bright today. Not a cloud in the sky. I rolled down the window for Scout since I forgot to earlier.

The song on the radio continued playing and I was listening to it.

The artist of the song sang, 'Loves a game of easy come and easy go.'

But I wonder how does he know? Has he ever felt like this?

And I knew she could could be here right now if I could have let her know I loved her sooner.

I took a long drive, longer than I realized it had been then returned to the farm. I let Scout out of the truck then head inside the house. I decided I was going to call Rita. I would be too anxious to write a letter and wait for it to send, then wait for one back, which may have been why I haven't done it.

I walked in the kitchen and unplugged the phone then took it to my bedroom to call her.

It took a while of staring out the window of the Jane's farm in the distance and the clock on my bedroom wall, but I finally got the courage.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed, phone in my lap and was dialing the number. My eyes were blurry and I could still stop myself from spinning the numbers, but I didn't. And then the phone was ringing.

I sat there waiting for Rita to answer, to hear her voice again. The phone rang for a long time and I thought there would be no answer. My heart was racing.

Until what I thought what was last ring, I hear some motion from the other line of the phone, then a soft, "Hello?"

It was Rita.

"Rita?" I said her name softly.

It had been the first time her name had left my mouth since she left. It felt weird to say. But hearing her voice again made my heart ache and the feeling of missing her hurt me.

"Who is that, baby?" I heard another voice from the other line say.

I froze a moment.

I thought it might had been another woman's voice but then I realized it was a deep voice of a man. Another man.

I heard Rita giggle then shush the man teasingly.

I then heard soft sounds of kisses maybe against Rita as she spoke again.

"Who is this?" She asked after it sounded as she brought the phone closer to her. I heard some more motion and ruffling.

I hesitated as my heart was pounding and I was sweating.

"Nobody." I mumbled, then hung up the phone.

I felt so many different emotions in that moment, that I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt many thoughts running through my head.

I felt guilt, regret, anger, sorrow, and so much more at one time.

She had found someone else? She had moved on?

If she could, why hadn't I? Did she really love me?

I then felt foolish as I thought she still wanted anything to do with me as she's now in the city, far enough away from me. What was I expecting?

I then wanted to take everything back. Everything that had happened the last few days.

What was I to her? Was I even anything to her now?

I had to stop myself from asking questions, but then I didn't know what else to do.

I'd never loved anyone as much I'd love Rita. I guess I wasn't good enough at showing it.

I put my head into my hands and stayed there a while. I tried to turn my thoughts off some how or at least drown them out.