The demons that hold me...

Stan Hurts Blueys feelings

Bluey

I feel bad for Stan, I hope he's alright.

"Morning Stan!" I said to him, he woke up and looked a bit stirred.

"Morning Bluester..." He said, he didn't sound happy.

"Stan, you okay?" I asked him, he seemed to be slouched.

"Yea... I am Bluey, don't worry." He told me, I didn't believe him. "Stan, it's okay to not be okay." I told him, he didn't like this.

"Then why does everyone look at me like I'm stupid when I'm not okay!?"

He screamed at me...

"I'm sorry Stan... I just wanted to help..." I said as I started to cry, I didn't like Stan being mad at me... I shouldn't have said anything.

Stan

"Oh Bluey wait!" I yelled after the Blue Heeler. She didn't look back.

Oh Bluey...

I walked after my sister, when Bingo stopped me.

"Stan, just... Don't." Bingo said, trying to keep her balance.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." I started, Bingo interrupted, "I don't mean to be mean Stanny, but it's best to stay away from Bluey right now." She told me, Did Bluey hate me?

I started to have a meltdown, with my sisters now upset with me, I failed as their brother. I hated myself.

I sat down, Bingo just left me there.

Ugh... Why couldn't I just be happy? Should I go to therapy? Should I just leave home? Maybe the heelers would be better off without me.

"STAN!" Mum screamed, she had been behind me trying to get my attention. I hadn't noticed due to my ominous spacing.

I didn't answer, I just looked at her and turned back around. She sighed.

"Stan... What happened with You and Bluey?" She asked, "I keep screwing up! I can't take it anymore! I keep hurting the people I love because of my short temper and pent up aggression! I hate this Mum... Please, just bring me back to the orphanage."

Mum stopped and looked at me, apparently, Bluey and Bingo heard me, and were standing in the doorframe as well.

"Stan... You don't meant that do you?" Mum asked me, "Yes... I hate hurting them Mum... I want what's best for them, even if it means removing myself." I said, Mum told me it wasn't true, but I kept my head straight on me leaving the heelers.

"Stan... Are you sure... You want to leave us?" She said teary, crap... Do I really want this?

"I... I don't..." I tried to speak, but Bluey stopped me.

"Stan, you aren't going anywhere, I won't let you." She hugged me from behind, basically putting me in a chokehold.

"Bluey... Not now Hun" mum said to her.

"No Mum! Stan needs me rn! More than anything Stan I want to help you." Bluey said to me, "I can't understand it yet, but I understand you hurt constantly. Please tell me what I can do..." The little heeler cautiously requested. I gave her my honest words.

"Bluey, there isn't much you can do... I'm hurt by the people around me... My own thoughts, and my past. The last thing I want is for you to see what I have." I said, she didn't like my answer.

"Stan, grow up!" She smacked me.

"Bluey Heeler!" Mum said, but... Why did that... Actually snap me back?

"Stan Morphine Heeler, knock it off mister!" Bluey said to me in a commanding voice.

"Y-yes ma'am!" I stood up and saluted, Bluey kept her cool too.

"Now drop and tell me what's going on Private!" Bluey commanded, I obeyed.

"It's my past Bluey, my bio parents always fought, driving me insane, as a youngster I had to fend for myself, through everything. I had to go to school with wrinkly and dried up clothing, everyone laughed at me. I hate it all, and all my mind does is remind me about it." I told her, Bluey still kept her cool and sat down with me.

"Now that's an answer... Stanley." Bluey used my full name. It hit right where it needed to, I felt as if Bluey took everything away, all the darkness and pain. I didn't feel hurting like myself anymore, I didn't overthink... Bluey... Thank you.

"Thanks Bluey, you're amazing." I said, mum had watched the interaction and patted Bluey on the head.

"Well done kid." She said, Bluey smiled.

"Anything for my family." Bluey said, she was getting wiser everyday.

"Bluey... Really though, How'd you know what to do?" I asked.

"Dad's done it to me a few times, not the slapping part, but I felt like you needed a hut or two!" She said to me, "Well it definitely worked!" I said hugging the heeler.

As we shared a hug, Bingo asked a question, "Stan? Are you better now?"

"Yes Bingo, thanks to you guys." I told her, her little tail wagged happily, these two girls...

I love them both.