Superposition

Chapter X

Lewis

While eating my breakfast, I read the book Marie and I made a bet on. The book she swore I wouldn't read.

'Schrödinger said that if you place a cat and something that could kill the cat (a radioactive atom) in a box and sealed it, you would not know if the cat were dead or alive until you opened the box, so that until the box was opened, the cat was both ''dead and alive''. This is used to represent how scientific theory works. No one knows if any scientific theory is right or wrong until said theory can be tested and proven.'

I ponder on this for a moment. At first, I thought how can something be both dead and alive? But then I understood it. You don't know until you open the box. It's called a quantum superposition. It's strange, but it almost reminds me of romantic feelings. If you have feelings for someone, and you don't know if they feel the same way, then they both like you and don't like you at the same time. Until you tell them, you can't know for sure so you're in this weird limbo (superposition) of them liking you but also not liking you.

'Why did you go AWOL last night?' Annabel sits down across from me. I sigh. Here we go. 'Well? Was it because of Marie? Again? Really, Lewis?' I don't look up from my book as she rambles on. 'You know how embarrassing that was for me? People asking me, 'oh, where's your boyfriend gone?' and I have to pretend like you haven't just chased after another girl? What even was that, Lewis? You're so bipolar. One minute you gift me a very expensive tennis bracelet for Christmas, then as soon as Marie turns up, you disappear! It's as if you don't even want to be with me.'

I slowly flip the pages of my book and take a sip of my orange juice, ignoring her.

'You're not even listening to me, are you? As usual,' She mumbles. I continue reading my book and fiddling with my breakfast as she continues harping on. Then she hits my forehead from across the table and I wince.

'Lewis!' She whines like a petulant toddler.

'Jesus Christ, what do you want?' I groan, looking at her frustratedly.

'I said, do you even want to be in a relationship anymore?!'

The whole dining room goes silent. I look at Marie who's sitting at a table across the room, watching closely. I shrug, casting my eyes back to my book. Annabel yanks the book from me and I bark, 'What the fuck is your problem?' as I stand up and grab the book back out of her hand. I stand over her, my nostrils flaring with rage as she shrieks, 'I asked you if you wanted to be in this relationship anymore and you shrugged!'

I take a deep breath before screaming, 'No I don't want to be with you anymore! I don't know how much more clear I can make it.'

Her eyes fill up with tears and her lip starts to tremble and guilt washes over me. I didn't want to do it like this, not in front of all these people. I wanted to take her somewhere quiet, and explain everything to her calmly. But no, she just has to make everything difficult.

'Listen, Bel,' I say softly, gently grabbing her arm, 'We're not right for each other, I was gonna tell you today, I didn't want it to be like this.'

She immediately pulls back from me, 'This has nothing to do with me, Lewis, and you know it. You can buy me all the tennis bracelets you want, but that will never hide the fact that you're in love with somebody else!' It's as if the whole dining room gasps theatrically and heads spin towards Marie.

'Re-Marie and I are just friends I've told you a million times, this has nothing to do with her,' I sigh, trying my hardest not to look at Marie who's now in my eyeline.

'I didn't even have to say her name and you knew exactly who I was talking about, that just proves my point,' Annabel screeches, tears rolling down her face.