𝐀𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭, ᵐᵃᵗᵗʰᵉᵒ ʳⁱᵈᵈˡᵉ

chapter 29

the next time charlotte sees mattheo, it's on the battlefield. she hadn't seen him in months. no, that wasn't exactly true. every night, she saw him in her dreams. every. night. but when she would wake up, he was always gone. she tried to find him, to apologize and make things right, but his dorm was empty and there was no trace of him left in the castle that used to be their safe place. it was like he disappeared. at first, she had tried to ask her friends about him, tried talking to teachers and looking for hints of him in the common room and quidditch field. but it was like he was never there. she looked for him in every corner of hogwarts, in the astronomy tower where they used to spend their nights, in the forest they used to walk through, hogsmeade where they had their dates. but he was just...gone. she was trying to say sorry, but she could never find him. no matter how hard she looked, he never came home. her grades were low and she was tired. remus was gone, and now mattheo had disappeared too. and she knew it was her fault. he must have been so unhappy, she thought, trying to get her back, doing such nice things for her, and then she tells him to die? she stopped looking for him after three months. her logic was that if he wanted her to find him, he would give her a hint, he would give her something. but he never did. maybe that's what led to her joining the order of the phoenix. maybe she was still trying to find him. maybe she was trying to let him go.

when the death eaters attacked the ministry, she was one of the first to volunteer to help. she didn't think very highly of her life as of late. her sixteenth birthday came quickly, and passed by with little thought from her. against her will, she found herself hoping mattheo would show up, wish her a happy birthday, take her back to france. but he never did. and so she let the time pass by. she was kneeling next to hermione when she saw him. he was cut up and bleeding and he looked tired and sickly and nothing like the boy she loved, but it was him. she could see the moment that he noticed her too. she stood up quickly, too quickly, and took shaky steps toward him, completely ignoring that she was tending to hermiones wounded arm. his eyes widened, and as she took steps forward, he took them backward. bright flashes of light wizzed passed them as both sides shot curses at eachother, and charlotte had to deflect them more than once on her voyage to his side of the room. she never quite reached him. everytime she got closer, he would take a step back, and then they would be in the same position they were in to begin with. him, always leaving, and her, always trying to follow. he goes down a set of rusty looking stairs, and of course, she follows.
"what," he says slowly as the stairs end and he shuts a heavy metal door behind them, "are you doing here?" his voice is different than she remembered. it wasn't soft or sweet anymore, instead rough and bland.
"i could ask you the same thing." she scoffs. "god, mattheo, off doing your fathers bidding?"
his eyes flash, "you don't know what you're talking about."
charlotte laughed, "sure i don't. so you're telling me you're not a death eater?"
he goes quiet, the same way he always did when he didn't want to answer a question, and charlotte knew.

she knew what he did. knew there was now a permanent taint in his soul that could never ever be clean again. she looked at him, all bloody and dirty, but still the boy she loved. his hair was the same, just matted with blood, and his hands were dirty, but they were still the ones she loved to hold. he was still him, and if anyone could save him, it would be her. she couldn't save remus, and she wouldn't make that same mistake with mattheo.
"come home with me," she said, taking a step toward him.
"what?" he said in shock, his wide, wild eyes landing on her.
"come home with me mattheo." she repeated, gently laying a hand on his bruised arm. "please."
he nodded jerkily, his eyes staring at where she was touching him.
she smiled slightly. of course, she knew he would give in. mattheo had never been able to say no to her. as they ascended the steps, cedric rushed up to her, grabbing her arms gently.
"are you okay, char?" he said urgently, grabbing her and pressing her into his chest. "thank god, when i couldn't find you, i thought you were gone."
mattheo went still behind her. she wanted to turn to him, to tell him it wasn't what it looked like, but it was. when she was grieving and mattheo had disappeared, the only person that was on her side was Cedric. after a moment, she pulled away from him and turned back toward mattheo.
"what is he doing here?" cedric asked, his voice low.
"i'm taking him home." she said, with no room for argument.
"to the manor?" cedric said, raising an eyebrow.
"to grimmauld place." charlotte said dryly, "got a problem with that?"
he gave her a look, but didn't say anything. she knew he would want to "talk about it later" but she was tired of "talking about it". he was something soft, like the first flower blooming in spring, like the warm rays of sun shining down on you in the summer, and that wasn't what she needed. what she needed was mattheo, with his anger that burned like fire, and his loyalty that he wouldn't give up for anything. cedric was a distraction, mattheo was everything.

as they apparated to grimmauld place, charlotte rushed mattheo upstairs to her room, hoping people would think she was just excited to lay down after the long mission. as she shoved mattheo into her bedroom, cedric stood beside her door. he kissed her gently before she shut the door behind her. when she got to the bathroom, she kneeled in front of the toilet and threw up.