𝐀𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭, ᵐᵃᵗᵗʰᵉᵒ ʳⁱᵈᵈˡᵉ

chapter 32

the castle smelt like blood when charlotte opened her windows the next morning. her nose crinkled at the smell before fear filled her. her pulse quickened, was it mattheos? she snapped herself out of that thought quickly. mattheo was stronger than that. she left her dorm quickly, not bothering to change her clothes from last night. as she walked through the castle, she was shocked by the carnage around her. blood splattered the corridor walls, which were decaying and crumbled. the place she loved so much, the place she grew up in, was falling apart before her eyes. as she looked at the damage surrounding her, her only thought was that she needed to get to mattheo. if she found him, if she knew he was okay, everything would be fine. she could look past the wreckage and the blood, the imminent dread of death dangling over the castle, as long as she knew he was alive. charlotte dragged herself to the great hall, stepping over pools of blood and piles of rubble as she struggled to reach her destination. she was practically tripping over her own feet, desperate for the reassurance that nothing had happened to mattheo. when she threw open the doors of the hall, the orderliness and formation of the room stunned her. when she went to hogwarts, before the war, before all this happened, the great hall was like one huge common room. everyone joked and laughed at their tables, they had fun. now though, now everyone stood in a stiff formation, organized by house. professor snape and three harsh looking people she didn't know stood at the head of the room, directing the crowds of terrified looking students. she hurried to join the slytherin cluster of the room, hoping to escape snape's notice, to no avail.
"mrs black," he said slowly, "how good of you to join us."
charlotte stiffened, "thank you professor." she said stiffly. he gave her a long look before turning back to address the crowd.
"there were sitings of harry potter in hogsmeade early this morning. if any of you are found to be withholding information about his return, you will be punished, severely."
charlotte felt herself tense at his harsh proclamation, and shock filled her as harry appeared in the middle of the room, his discarded invisibility cloak laying behind him, forgotten. collective gasps rang through the room as everyone took in the sight in front of them. the crowds parted to surround harry and snape. hermione and ron stood off to the side, wands drawn defensively. a hush settled as charlotte realized what was going to happen. there would be a fight today, and realistically more than one. she backed away slowly, darting out of the room the second she got close enough to the door. it slammed closed behind her startling her. a cold hand closed around her elbow, making her jump. she turned quickly, and relief filled her as she looked into a pair of familiar brown eyes. he looked tired and there was a long slash going across his nose, but he was alive. she clung to him instantly, holding tightly to his strong body. for a moment, she thought she had lost him. it was unimaginable. she hadn't known what she would do if it was a reality, if he was really gone. he lifted a shaking hand and pressed it to the back of her head, holding her against his chest gently.
"charlotte," he said softly, "you know."
it wasn't a question, so she didn't bother lying to him.
"yes," she said slowly, "i saw everything."
he closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath.

she intertwined his fingers with hers.
"i don't blame you." she said quietly, resting her head against his chest and relishing in the feeling of his heartbeat, proving he was real, that he was still here.
he pressed his eyes shut tightly and held her close to him for a few more seconds before nodding quickly and stepping away from her.
"i'm sorry charlotte," he said gently, "find me when this is over, okay? i'll wait for you."
dread filled her as she realized what this meant. he was staying. he was fighting. so she would too. she wasn't leaving him, not again.
"i will, i promise," she said quickly.
"matt," a familiar voice said, startling her yet again.
mattheo's eyes crinkled in the corners at the sight of his friend, "hey theo," he said casually, grinning lazily at who charlotte suspected was his best friend.
she turned to face him and he threw a friendly arm around her shoulders, "hello mrs black," he said teasingly, ruffling her hair.
mattheo laughed and shoved his shoulder, knocking his arm off of hers, "what do you want nott?" he laughed lowly.
"we're um...needed," theo gestured to mattheo's left forearm, where charlotte knew the dark mark rested. she hadn't realized theo had gotten it too, but she wasn't exactly surprised either. she backed away slowly, ready to retreat back to her dorm, but mattheo grabbed her again and held her tightly for a moment before pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head.
"i'll see you charlotte," he said, whispering it so only she could hear. it was a promise to her, and only her.
she nodded weakly and was ready to turn away before theo ran up to her quickly and hugged her just as tight.
"you're good for him," he whispered, too quiet for mattheo to hear. she felt herself smile. theo was just that kind of person.
"thank you theo," she whispered back, feeling tears sting her eyes.
"no," he said gently, "thank you, really. for everything." he squeezed her one last time before stepping back and looking down at his right hand. he stared at it skeptically for a moment before pulling off the plain silver ring that rested on his middle finger. "watch this for me, kay?"
she took it gently from his grasp and watched in silence as they walked away from her. hiding in her dorm wasn't what she needed to do, not now. she turned the opposite direction as them, and ran out to the courtyard. she wasn't sure what she was expecting to find, but piles of bodies and bright curses flying through the air was not it. she gasped as she walked over the bodies of so many familiar faces. fred weasley, lavender brown, cedric. she felt a twinge of relief, before guilt filled her. she wasn't glad cedric was dead. not at all. but she was glad he died happy, and that she didn't have to break his heart. she kept walking, her surroundings feeling unreal. this was hogwarts. her home, the safest place in the world. and now? now it was a bloodbath. bodies of her classmates lingered in heaps around the courtyard, the smell of decaying flesh filled the air, and every time she moved, charlotte felt a stiff heaviness in her heart. it was too much. she didn't know what was happening, didn't understand anything besides the fact that there was a ringing in her ears and a lack of awareness in her mind. she stood still, taking shallow breathes when she saw it. hagrid was carrying a body. he was tied up and looked ragged, but it was still hagrid, still her teacher and friend. a crowd of death eaters surrounded him, jeering and poking at the dead body that laid in his arms. who could it be? charlotte was stumbling forward, desperate to get closer, to understand, when all of a sudden, ginny weasley screamed. charlotte didn't know ginny well. she was ron's little sister, and she knew that she was involved with harry to some extent, but she was never really close to ginny particularly. somehow, the scream only spurred her on more. she needed to know who's body it was. she kept going forward, unwilling to stop until she stood at the front of the crowd, looking out into the courtyard to see hagrid holding harry potter's dead body. shock was the first thing she felt. then dread. if harry was gone, who would save them? who would end the war? gasps went through the crowd as others realized what they were looking at. the end of the war. just the wrong end. an end that was unimaginable. the crowd of students and order members stood in silence as neville longbottom urged them to fight, to not give up, but it seemed the urge to fight had died alongside harry. neville pulled out the sword of gryffindor, rendering everyone speechless. she had always thought he was a little weak, but when it mattered, he was stronger than her. harry tumbled out of hagrids arm before standing up. a collective hush filled the courtyard. there was no way he had survived that. yet... harry was running toward voldemort, firing countless spells at him. as if a spell had been broken, both sides began firing at eachother yet again.
"charlotte !" someone yelled from behind her, and a moment later a pair of hands pushed her to the side, "look out !"
she fell to the ground, hitting her knees on pieces of rubble. she winced at the hard stone digging into her tender flesh, but she turned back toward the voice, the person that had saved her.
theo laid on the ground, head lulled to the side, blood dripping out of his mouth. he was dead. the realization shot through her like a bullet. theo never wanted to fight. he wanted to finish hogwarts and live a quiet life with his friends. he, of all people, should not be killed in this war. a war he never wished to join. theo should never have died. heaving breaths left her as she stared at him in shock. she didn't know what to do. he had given her his ring, something she was sure he cherished, and now she could never give it back.
"charlotte?" a familiar voice called from a few feet away. "charlotte !"
she couldn't make herself turn and meet mattheos gaze until he was next to her, looking down at the body that fell at her feet.
"is he-" he cut himself off. she nodded tensely and looked away as mattheo knelt next to the body of his best and maybe only real friend. his breath was shaky and his shoulders were stiff, and charlotte knew this was a loss that mattheo would feel for the rest of his life. the loss of his best friend. the loss of his brother.
"go," he said, his voice not hard but not quite gentle, "charlotte, get out of here." he repeated, looking up at her.
she ran. she knew she wouldn't be proud of it, keeping theo's ring and leaving mattheo with his body, but she couldn't breathe and all she smelt was blood and she was so done with all of it. she ran and ran until she rounded the corner to her dorm and slammed the door shut behind her. her hands shook as she ran them through her hair, and somehow, the only thing she felt was a vague sense of irritation when they came back wet with blood. she didn't know if it was hers or theo's or someone else's, all she knew was that she was tired. she collapsed onto her bed, praying to anyone that would listen that it would all be over when she woke up.

sleeping felt like dying. it felt like she was floating, and nothing was tethering her to the earth. she felt weightless. there were no thoughts in her head, no heavy feelings weighing her down. but when you're sleeping, you always have to wake up. her eyes were heavy and blood was crusted under her fingernails, but charlotte was alive, she had survived. there was a weight beside her, and when she finally managed to pry her eyes open, she was relieved to see mattheo laying next to her, breathing smoothly. he was alive. they had made it. her head was still bleeding and they were both dirty, they had funerals to plan and wounds to clean, but charlotte settled back against mattheos body, pulling his arm around her to keep her close. as she laid in his arms, and sleep began to descend on her again, she only had one thought. being with him now felt the same as it did in france. the same as it did in august.