Drifting Deception

Chapter Two

SYDNEY

When I decided to wear heels for our date night, I did not expect to be running at ten p.m., while the man I loved hurried away from me.

"Jer, come on," I yelled out. I was met with silence as we rounded the corner. "Jeremy." My voice was stern this time. "Can we please talk about this." I was no longer asking a question. I was demanding him to listen.

Jeremy stopped suddenly, his body twisting at a pace that almost made me crash into him.

"There's nothing to talk about," he began. "You don't want to marry me." His eyes were glossy and his breathing heavy.

I sighed. "That doesn't mean I don't want to be with you." I ran my clammy palms down the side of my red dress. Screw the goddam red dress I decided to buy for this evening. "I love you, Jer. I just thought we would've spoken about this beforehand. I didn't realise you were ready for marriage."

Jeremy sighed this time. "I was always going to be ready for marriage because I was going to be marrying you."

My heart ached. I didn't realise we were at different stages in life. I wanted to travel first and set up another studio on my own. I wanted to do all the things people had written on their early-twenties bucket lists. Yes, marriage sounded exciting...but it was also the scariest thing I could fathom. I loved Jer, there was no doubt about that. But the fact that we hadn't spoken about the idea of marriage ironically spoke volumes.

"You can still marry me one day," I whispered as I closed my eyes. "I'm just not ready right now." I held them closed in the hopes that I could forget this was happening. I had never wanted to escape a situation as much as I did right now.

Except this was the reality, and as I opened my eyes and saw my lover staring back with remorseful eyes, I had a feeling we were a lost cause.

"But not now," he said, his tone cold.

I shook my head. "But not now."

Jeremy looked around the street, running his hands through his long, blonde hair before he began fiddling with the top button of his shirt. The edges of his eyes were laced red, and I almost felt guilty for not shedding a tear.

"Then I think it's for the best that we say goodbye now," he said after a moment of deliberation.

I knew it.

"So you're breaking up with me?"

Jeremy nodded. "I don't see how it can go any other way."

I tapped my foot against the cold concrete. "Why don't we just have a few days apart? We can cool down and make a decision when our emotions aren't high—"

"No, Sydney. I've made my decision now."

I stared into Jeremy's eyes, hoping to find a hole in the strong wall he'd suddenly put up. A passage where I could get through to him...make him understand. But there was no hope. He was hurt, and I didn't blame him. I'd be feeling pretty damn awful if the person I got down on one knee for said no. But he was refusing to see it from my side, and that meant he was refusing to fight for us.

"Very well," I said as I straightened my spine. I was feeling vulnerable at this moment, but I knew how to act like I wasn't. "If that's what you want, I'll respect that."

Jeremy's expression changed for a split second before he shook his head and nodded. "Okay good. Well, I guess this is goodbye then."

Ouch.

I tucked two strands of hair behind each ear. "Goodbye, Jeremy." I flashed him one last smile before clutching my bag and heading in the opposite direction of my now ex-lover.